Dowry Dilemma: Tradition or Transaction?

Dowry requirements for a Meru lady.

The other day a post on the bride price of a Meru girl went viral after it totalled Sh1.8 million.

Titled 'Buying a learned Meru Girl', the list had several requirements including two suits worth Sh90,000 and Sh80,000 respectively plus two bulls priced at Sh500,000.

The post drew mixed reactions from netizens who argued dowry payment had been commercialised and needed to be regulated.

Some said such tabulations ought to be looked at carefully to avoid sending away potential suitors. In contrast, others said high bride prices create a false sense of ownership thus leading to unhappy marriages.

In 2019, the Supreme Council of Meru Elders (Njuri Ncheke) announced plans to regulate the absurdly high dowries demanded by in-laws.

The elders said that the huge figures quoted by some families were putting off young men who wanted to marry.

At the time, Njuri Ncheke Secretary General Josphat Murangiri hit out at parents who use the ceremony to 'extort' the groom-to-be.

"Dowry should never be the basis to prevent young men and women from getting lifetime partners.

"I got a case where a young man was asked to pay Sh1,000,000 for him to wed. Such huge prices are unfavourable to orphaned young men and those from poor families," he said.

The elders said they would want to come up with a policy that would clearly state what traditional dowry rates translate to in modern terms.

"If the family of the bride has demanded 10 cows, we will stipulate how much one cow is worth rather than leave that interpretation to the parties in the marriage," added Murangiri.

He also took issue with the fact that parents (in Meru) have been asking for expensive suits and shoes contrary to the Meru culture.

However, the elders clarified that the customary laws would only apply to Meru people and anyone who wants to pay more can go ahead and do so.

We are yet to establish whether the said recommendations have been effected.

Paying dowry is a sin - Rev Timothy Njoya

Last year, retired PCEA minister Reverend Timothy Njoya opined on the commercialization of the dowry process and what it has become in modern times.

The theologian said he does not believe in paying dowry because it creates a false sense of ownership.

"When you pay dowry, a woman instantly becomes a property. I did not pay dowry; it is a sin. It is the greatest sin to buy a person. Why are men not bought?"

Rev Timothy Njoya [Wilberforce Okwiri, Standard]

"Dowry is not African culture...it is African wickedness. My mother rejected dowry from my paternal grandfather," he said.

Adding: "I cannot sell my daughters...even the married ones. I can never ask for a shilling. Women are not goods."