5 REASONS WHY I’LL STAY THIS WAY

Marriage. Everyone talks about it. Every girl and guy has this as a life goal somewhere at the back of their mind. The thought of how it will be can mesmerize you to think that every day will be a walk down the aisle. Think of the lovely family that smiles as you walk down that short path way. Think of the guy waiting for you at the end of the aisle and how he smiles and can’t wait to kiss you or say, I do!’ Your mother-in-law will be happy just as  the rest of your in-laws that their son is getting a ‘jiko’ (getting married). Your mother and sisters, on the other hand, will be smiling from one end of the cheek to the next. Your father and brothers are will be happy. Not to talk of the community coming to celebrate your wedding. It will feel like you are finally there: at the peak of life. But will these thoughts truly there?

Once you get married you realize that the only thing this guy was so happy about was the after night that he was going to have: he now has a legal ‘get-laid’ partner, or should I say a ‘sex machine’! He is also happy about the fact that he will not go to the kitchen again, as the saying goes, ‘Amepata jiko!’ (He has found a cooker). He now has a mental and sexual menu in mind, which the chef should be more willing to provide without any delays. He expects to be submitted to; to be put first. He expects that you put the family first as he alleges to do. He expects you to come home, cook, do the laundry, do the dishes, do the floors, look after the kids, care for his idling relatives, his idling mother (who has bulged into your home for no particular purpose), take care of him physically, mentally and sexually, and at the same time, as if the list is not long enough, take care of your career! All this you should do happily, without help, and without complaining. Dude, we are not robots! Get robocop to do this; I hear, he’s on e-bay!