Friendships are some of the most unique and meaningful connections we have, but not all of them last. Some drift apart quietly, while others blow up in painful ways. For women, friendships can be a source of joy, support and growth, but only if they are built on trust, respect and care.
For Okoko Felicitus, she discovered the value of building friendships with purpose.
“I love the friendships I’m building now,” she says. “It’s harder to connect with people as an adult, especially for me, since work and life are almost blended. But the ones I have now are different.” She explains how supportive her friends are. “We share hope for brighter days as we talk about our goals, the little things that make us happy, and we intentionally go out and have fun. We also support each other and show up when needed. Most of my friends are from work, which can be fun, but it also means I can never fully escape work with them,” she says.
Priscillah Gacheri reflects on friendships from youth and the contrast with adult life.
“I feel the friendships we had when we were young were more genuine because people had real intentions,” she says. “Nowadays, some friends take advantage of or expect something from you. There’s a lot of pressure. That’s why I prefer friends I grew up with, because we share a history and a foundation that lasts.”
But according to Ketrine Aloo, a friendship ended in a way she never expected.
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“In my case, my friendship ended because a close friend shared my private struggles with others instead of supporting me,” she says. She explains how deeply the betrayal hurt, especially coming from someone she had fully trusted. “The betrayal came from someone I felt safe with. Looking back, it’s a mix of emotions. I feel bad because I really valued our friendship and thought it was real. I genuinely loved her, so it was disappointing,” she says.
Ketrine adds that the experience changed how she chooses friendships. “I decided to choose fewer friendships, but healthier ones,” she says.
Joy Mukami has her own story of betrayal.
“I had a fake friend who would go behind my back. If there were problems between my siblings and me, she wanted to get involved,” she recalls. “I realised I was the only one who viewed her as a friend, I was never her friend,” she adds. But despite the betrayal, Joy still believes there are good people out there. “I believe there are genuine people. It’s just that the majority can be fake,” she says.
Psychologist Augustine Ntara explains why these experiences are so common. “As women grow older, friendships are tested by careers, family and personal growth. Some friendships fade because priorities shift, and not everyone can keep up with your emotional needs.” He adds that betrayal and disappointment shape how women approach new friendships. “Trust is like glass. Once broken, it’s never quite the same. Women become more careful, and it takes longer to open up again. But healthy friendships feel safe. You can express yourself without fear of judgment, and both friends add value to each other’s lives without causing exhaustion,” Augustine says.
These experiences show that most friendships survive because of effort, while those that don’t last often end because of betrayal, emotional drain or misaligned priorities.