When you hear of addiction, rarely does the mind think of emotional addictions. Though less overtly recognised than substance dependencies, these are deeply ingrained patterns of thought, feelings and behaviour.
One way you can see it manifest is when an individual becomes pathologically attached to specific emotional states, whether painful or counterproductive, because they offer a perceived sense of control or even identity in some cases, or a very distorted form of gratification.
Overcoming these entrenched patterns is very difficult and it must start with self-awareness, admission on your part and dedicated psychological work alongside recommended coping strategies.
If you thrive in drama and chaos, it is time you realised that that is one of the most common signs of emotional addiction. People who are caught up in this cycle often find themselves perpetually embroiled in high-intensity and stressful situations.
This can become addictive because it provides a constant rush of adrenaline, a sense of being alive and a warped narrative that they enjoy riding that wave.
Another pervasive form is addiction to approval or validation. If your self-worth is entirely contingent upon external praise and recognition, that fleeting high of receiving affirmation reinforces a relentless pursuit of external validation, which leads to chronic anxiety and a fragile sense of self.
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Others may develop an addiction to negative self-talk or self-sabotage, where a familiar loop of critical internal dialogue, self-deprecation or self-defeating behaviour becomes their comfort zone.
Another common one is the addiction to suffering or victimhood, where individuals repeatedly return to narratives of past hurts or present misfortunes, finding a twisted sense of identity or a mechanism for eliciting sympathy and attention.
Take note of those moments when you feel an inexplicable pull towards a certain dynamic or sensation, even when logic suggests otherwise. For instance, repeatedly initiating arguments when there is calm in the relationship or constantly revisiting past grievances are honestly nothing short of red flags. Pay attention to how you describe your personal experiences or the consistent narrative that plays in your mind.
For the drama addict, for instance, triggers might include periods of calm or predictability, which feel unsettlingly boring.
Overcoming emotional addictions requires consistent effort on your part with the presence of professional psychological support.