Njeri adds that there are also those mothers whose husbands do not give them as much attention as they should and who then turn to their sons for support and security. She gives these boys all the attention they need thus raising their expectations of any other woman in their lives.
"When such a boy goes out, he does not get similar attention from the girls and thus prefers his mother's company. I think there must be boundaries. I always remind myself that such a boy is my son, my child, and not a soulmate," says Njeri.
Why though, do some mothers cling to their sons at the detriment of their (sons') independence?
It all depends on an individual family's dynamics, according to Faith Gichanga, an organisational counsellor. Whatever the cause though, Gichanga says it is an issue that puts a strain on marital relationships.
"When a woman gets together to start a family with a man, she expects him to be functional and able to survive on his own. Unfortunately, she soon gets tired of 'babysitting' the man because she cannot attend to his every whim like his mother," she says.
In most customs, a young man starting a family gains some form of independence from his parents. Their authority over him, says Gichanga diminishes, with the wife taking over crucial roles within the new home.
"A wife will have quite some authority, but this becomes difficult if the man has to defer to his mother. As a wife tries to establish some authority or some house rules, the boy thinks he is being 'sat on' and contrasts the wife with his mother," says Gichanga.
Like other women interviewed, the mother's control during the dating process is initially viewed as a good thing as the girl thinks she is being involved in everything. But when this continues well into the marriage, the new couple's relationship is strained and the man "never has the guts to say anything" to avoid upsetting his mother.
"The wife becomes frustrated with the mother-in-law. She chooses the school for your children and prefers you take holidays together, usually to her rural home. She even proposes where you will live, somewhere close to her. When the wife complains, the man says, 'mama anakuanga hivyo (my mother is normally like that)'."
In some instances, this can be a recipe for divorce or separation.
"Normally, it is the woman who will come for counselling, saying she is tired of the patronage. The man may never see the problem, but may come with the wife. It is better when they come as a couple. I tell the man he is no longer under the yoke of his parents and needs to set up his own 'culture' now that he and the wife are one flesh," says Gichanga.
But all said and done, could it be that Mama's boy has the Midas Touch on his woman? That at his mother's tutelage, he has learnt to shower her with all good things than the rough, macho guy in the