If you are a gym enthusiast, you’ve likely encountered a colourful cast of characters in your fitness journey. Kenyan gyms are not only hubs of health but also hotbeds of personality. Instructors range from hilariously dramatic to obsessively disciplined, and each brings their own unique flavour to the workout floor. Here are ten distinct types of gym instructors you are bound to meet in Kenyan gyms.
1. The Instagram fitness guru
Clad in the latest branded gear and perpetually glued to their phone, this instructor turns every session into a content shoot. From warm-ups to water breaks, nothing is sacred. Your squats may well end up on Instagram Reels or TikTok, as he exclaims, “Content ni lazima!” Half-trainer, half-influencer — prepare to work out for the camera.
2. The disappearing act
He’s always almost not there. Some mornings he arrives late, others he’s a complete no-show. At 6:30am, you receive a text: “Leo niko na errands, do the circuit we did last week.” You start questioning whether you paid for a fitness programme or a round of hide-and-seek.
3. The ‘no pain, no gain’ commander
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This instructor believes he’s prepping you for military service. “Don’t rest! Rest is for the weak!” he barks, as your legs tremble under the strain. He thrives on pain, sweat and mild suffering. You’ll both dread and admire him — and somehow, you’ll keep returning.
4. The street-hardened veteran
No certifications. No fitness jargon. Just raw experience. He probably started training people with bricks, tyres and jerrycans before gyms were mainstream. His mantra: “If it burns, it works.” He knows tricks that even modern fitness Apps haven’t discovered yet. He may not speak much, but his presence commands instant respect — and results.
5. The diet police
This is the guy who judges you by what you eat: Ate a mandazi? You’ve undone a week’s progress. Took tea with sugar? “You’re killing your abs!” He’ll make you feel guilty for even smelling ugali. But if you stick to his strict nutrition code, results are inevitable. He walks the talk — but boy, it’s a tough walk.
6. Team fisi
This one crosses the professional line. He’s overly touchy and sprinkles his instructions with sexual innuendo. Known for preying on clients, he’s even rumoured to have eloped with married women. Gym management often turns a blind eye — but clients beware.
7. The all-rounder
The golden standard. He’s punctual, knowledgeable and goal-oriented. He tailors workouts to suit your needs, corrects your form and motivates you just right. He knows when to push you and when to slow down. These rare gems don’t just train you — they transform you. If you find one, never let go.
8. Mr motivation
This guy is all about positive energy. You’ve done five push-ups and can barely breathe, but he’s clapping and cheering and makes you believe you’re training for the Olympics: “You’re doing great, Champ!” Everyone is “boss,” “queen,” or “chief.” His energy is infectious. If vibes alone built muscle, you’d already be shredded.
9. The bodybuilding encyclopaedia
He knows every muscle by its Latin name. You’ll hear about preacher curls, Romanian deadlifts, and Zottman curls — exercises you didn’t know existed. He worships Arnold Schwarzenegger and believes in “shocking the muscles.” His biceps usually speak before he does.
10. The personal therapist
You came to work out your legs, but somehow you’re on a bench talking about your ex, your job, or your mother-in-law. This instructor somehow becomes your life coach. “Bro, it’s not just fitness — it’s healing from the inside out,” he assures you. You leave sore, but emotionally lighter.