Courtesy should not be just about money

A waiter serves diners in a restaurant. In Kenya, courtesy seems directly proportional to money, with higher earners getting better service. [Courtesy]

Kenya's coastal region, alongside Tanzania, Uganda, and Rwanda, forms East Africa's "courtesy zone".

You are treated with respect and dignity, whether you have money or not. It’s something most people don’t shout about but quietly appreciate.

I wish hotels and similar facilities could keep data on tips, a good proxy for courtesy. We expect to see higher tips in the "courtesy zone". Did I see a tip box at Arusha Gymkhana? Is it true the late former President Mwai Kibaki played a role in ensuring that the golf course never “vanished”?

Why is courtesy rare in Kenya?  Why is “westernised” Kenya, except parts of western Kenya and the coast, a "rudeness zone"? 

Is lack of courtesy a natural output of capitalism? 

You may contest this; I find a lot of courtesy in high-end hotels.  Not sure how much of it is natural. Would the same courteous workers behave the same way outside the workplace?

In Kenya, courtesy seems directly proportional to money. Higher earners receive more courtesy, even at funerals.  We baptise courtesy customer service, yet it’s supposed to be natural, not based on getting more money from the customer. We even make courtesy religious.

I'm mute on other East African countries. Burundi, South Sudan, DR Congo and Somalia: I have scant data on how they treat each other.

Kenya’s early encounter with capitalism killed courtesy. Some say Mau Mau played a role too when it became hard to trust anyone. Unlike Uganda, where residues of kingdoms remain, Kenya is “ too westernised”. 

In Kenya, it seems as we get more westernised, courtesy seems to die. What of easternisation? In Tanzania, ujamaa (socialism) kept courtesy; we hope capitalism will not kill it.

One of the most courteous regions apart from the coast is western Kenya, once part of the Uganda Kingdoms.

Curiously, courtesy was traditionally part of our culture as we interacted with each other. That is why traditional societies are still courteous and respectful.

Think of northern and southern Kenya. Courtesy is rare in Kenya’s “westernised”  societies. Curiously, Kenya is a very religious society. Should courtesy not be blooming like flowers in the Arctic summer?  What is the missing link?

Courtesy is slowly dying. What will replace it?  Rudeness, pride, condescending behaviour?  This leaves everyone angry and bitter, and usurps our inner joy.

Yet it’s only when we realise our lives are intertwined with others that we start finding fulfilment, happiness and meaning in life. Are you courteous? Have you been a victim of rudeness?