Unelected leader causing havoc in Western with 2032 promises

President Ruto's aide Farouk Kibet  [John Muia, Standard]

As Kenya’s political roads increasingly lead to Emanyulia, the villagers are restless about latter day Bob Astles, individuals with little respect for substance, method and decorum when visiting us.  

These powerful fellows go straight into our fireplace, and into our cooking pots. They dip their dirty hands into the pot and eat right there at the fireplace, straight from the pot. They decide who else eats with them. Between overloaded mouthfuls, they share portions straight into people’s palms, seated on the earthen floor at the cooking place. In gone years, Ugandans wore these Bob Astles around the neck, like the albatross. Now it’s Emanyulians. 

Astles, a British soldier-turned-colonial officer, became one of the most consequential individuals under Presidents Milton Obote and Idi Amin. He was the classic unelected leader who often becomes power itself. Such people have little time for local sensibilities and domestic neatness. When they come to you, they believe they are godsends. They immethodically take over the place and run over everyone.  

Such is Mr Farouk Kibet, one of President Ruto’s strongmen. He holds court in Khwisero, and everywhere in Emanyulia, even as our local notables and grandees play third fiddle. This gentleman does not even tell you who he is. It is understood that everyone knows him, or ought to. He baits stubborn Emanyulians, who stand afar, with the words, “I have brought one million shillings. It will be given to you at the end of this meeting. If your numbers swell, I will make it two million. Those who don’t come close will get nothing.” 

Emanyulians close in to Power. We love money, amang’ondo! Still, we are confounded about this visitor who overwhelms everyone. See how they cow before him. Governors, Speakers of Houses, all! They look nervous. But he has brought good news, beyond his millions.

We are going to produce the next president, after Ruto. But that will be in 2032. For now, we should focus on dislodging the sitting Number Two man. We will transit to the presidency via Kithure Kindiki’s present office.

We must, therefore, mount a bruising fight against Kindiki, and all other pretenders, in next year’s elections. Our neighbours from Sugoi, and everywhere in the Rift Valley, are supporting us. Even President Ruto himself. Beyond the millions, Kibet has also brought the name of our Number Two man. He is Moses Wetang’ula. So, next year, it is Ruto and Wetang’ula on the ballot paper. Hail our focused man, Weta the confident, as we called him at the University of Nairobi in early 80s!  

We go into overdrive because of the Kibet-Weta confidence, and the promised millions. We are swooned in claptrap. Even MPs and governors kowtow before our great visitor, and our confident brother. We clap. We dance. We laugh nervously. The visitor presides over the dancing. He invites our notables to speak. He rations time itself! 

What a man! What power! As we go away, two hundred bob the richer, a villager who was an adolescent in the Astles years compares Farouk to the British soldier. Another one mentions a gentleman who was called Mali Ya Mungu, also from Uganda. Some chap, who attended good schools, tells us that in Russia, long ago, there was Rasputin, a mean and strong Boney-M monk; a love machine, with fire in the eyes. 

Slight differences notwithstanding, these men are remarkably similar. Powerful confidants exercising influence outside formal power. Before them, Ministers tremble and pass warm water in their trousers. For, they symbolise extra-formal power. They can get coercive, when necessary.  

Our Kibet is a powerful gatekeeper around President Ruto. Like Rasputin, Mali Ya Mungu and Astles, he exercises power without accountability. While some claim official power, he has no formal office. Yet, he smells of power itself. He is the gatekeeper of access to favours and millions. Ministers, civil servants, and even generals must go through him to reach the boss. He may even decide who gets which job.  

Now that is mystic ambiguity. Its name is power. Nicolo Machiavelli advised, long ago, that a king must gather around him a circle of favourites, flatterers, and sundry gatekeepers, who resemble power. Forget about Cabinet Secretaries, Speakers and the rest. These fellows govern. The rest pick up the cue. Ask Rigathi Gachagua. 

Yet, do courtiers mistake proximity for permanence? Emanyulians are saying they are uncomfortable with their visitor who behaves as if he owns the fireplace. Sensitive as we are about our food, we are upset that our notables surrender the pot to strangers. We are promising to teach them a lesson next year.

-Dr Muluka is a strategic communications adviser. www.barrackmuluka.co.ke