Prezzo UK keeps ear to the ground in quest for direction into the future

President (Rtd) Uhuru Kenyatta.[File, Standard]

Folks, happy Easter!

In the spirit of the season, I will refrain from calling any politician a liar and a thief, even though that’s what a majority are. The culture of stealing, I understand, has become so endemic that even Americans, our alleged bosom buddies, are calling the Ruto administration a citadel of corruption. That’s a severe understatement, but I’ll not challenge it.

But that’s not my problem. What absorbs my mind for the moment is the return of former President Uhuru Kenyatta, aka UK, to national political discourse. Prezzo UK has been in retirement for the last three years and, as I understand it, he’s a hard-up pensioner because he’s yet to receive his pension. Or, perhaps, he did. When one has the image of his father on legal tender, he can just print cash at home, as I keep saying.

Prezzo UK was in Kirinyaga mid-week for the burial of former Kirinyaga Senator Daniel Karaba. His speech lasted under ten minutes, but its ramifications will last far longer. As a good student of politics, the meaning of his words lay not in what he said or how it was said, but what wasn’t said.

Then there were the chuckles, which elicited a gaggle of giggles from the audience, a recognition that they understood the meaning of his formless expressions. There was more: The adjusting and readjusting of the microphone, not because there was anything wrong with the sound, but because it’s a hallmark of Prezzo UK’s political performance. It infers the switching of gears, a redirection of thought, even strategy.

The most telling of Prezzo UK’s strategy was code-switching, turning to his first language in a communication addressed “to the people of Kirinyaga,” when he drew attention to his own awareness that his mere presence, even without uttering a word, would have political significance.

“I came here to bury Karaba,” he offered, distancing himself from the assemblage of opposition politicians present, “But since we’re here, we’re here…” That was a polite way of saying, even though he wouldn’t please everyone, he’d say his piece.

And say he did, starting with the parable of a comely bride who was given away for a song to a smooth-talking swindler.  The audience bubbled with laughter, eliciting a reprimand from Prezzo UK. This, after all, was no laughing matter. “I warned you…” He chuckled, reminding them that this just wasn’t an invention; it had everything to do with the audience.

More warnings came: The people must wise up and distinguish between politicians and leaders, he went on, using the biblical analogy that many (politicians) are called but few (leaders) are chosen.

Then Prezzo UK changed its mind midway. Even though he had outlined his reticence in engaging in siasa, he adjusted his microphone. There was one thing that he’d wish to talk about.

The Church should nourish congregants’ spirits and steer clear of politics, he said, turning awkwardly to face the makeshift pulpit, where some prelates sat. Please, he beseeched, do not lead these people astray….

From the parable of the comely bride who was given away for a song, to a sweet-tongued swindler, the parable of prelates leading flocks astray, Prezzo UK concluded with yet another yarn. He had retreated to Ichaweri, he announced, back to the bunduz. In the twilight of his political life, he was keeping his ear to the ground, picking up vibrations in that far remove, trying to make sense of what those vibrations meant.

And the man whose party purports to “listen” to the ground, former Deputy Prezzo Rigathi Gachagua aka Riggy G, grinned from ear to ear, even though his ear did not touch the ground.

Riggy G similarly smiled when he was singled out for being among a clutch of politicians who instigated a political wind that blew people in the wrong direction. Prezzo UK descended from the stage. With those few remarks, he said, he knew he’d debated and dissed in the newspapers, a self-fulfilling prophecy that has come to pass.