Jilted man fails to secure dowry refund in court

Court rejects a Sh1.16m dowry and wedding expenses refund claim after a Kamba customary marriage ended within a month. [Courtesy]

A jilted man from Machakos has failed to secure a refund of dowry and logistics worth sh1.16 million spent on a Kamba customary marriage after the wife abandoned him after 30 days.

The man, SWM, approached the courts seeking a refund of Sh1,169,650 spent on livestock, traditional tokens, celebration and transport.

Among the things he wants back are goats slaughtered on-site, beer, soda, and vast quantities of food cooked and consumed by all parties and guests present during the two-day festivities.

He also sought a commercial public address (P.A.) system, which he hired for Sh80,000, and catering services at a cost of Sh180,000, clothing/apparel worth Sh100,000, fuel, and transportation costs costing Sh300,000.

SWM also wants back Sh300,000 spent on a salon business he opened for her.

SWM told Wamunyu Law Courts Senior Principal Magistrate, Pascal Nabwana, that he approached the estranged wife, MNS, seeking her hand in marriage in the year 2022 and engaged Kamba customary law to formalise the union on November 7, 2025.

The couple conducted the "Ntheo" and "Ngasya" ceremonies, where he spent Sh1,169,650 on livestock, traditional tokens, celebrations, and transport.

However, SWM filed for a divorce after a month, claiming that the wife had deserted her, denied him conjugal rights, and treated him with cruelty.

SWM said that they separated within a month of the customary law rites, and the estranged wife cut off all communication and informed her mother at their home that she is not interested in the marriage.

Attempts at reconciliation by the SWM’s and MNS’ family members failed.

SWM said that he absolutely has no intention or capacity to return to the marriage that he testified has caused him heartache and untold emotional hardship.

The magistrate held that the said marriage has irretrievably broken down, leaving no shell or substance to preserve.

However, Nabwana entirely rejected granting SWM's prayer for dowry and logistic refund, terming it completely legally flawed and culturally unsustainable.

The magistrate said that marriage under customary law is a trilateral contract involving the groom, the bride, and their respective clans, and as such, the refund of dowry is strictly governed by traditional dispute-resolution practices.

“This Court holds that parties cannot bypass their elders and jump straight to a court of law to demand financial restitution. Traditional customary mechanisms, including formal clan elder meetings, auditing of gifts, and symbolic traditional returns, must be fully exhausted before a claim can be entertained in a judicial forum,” said Nabwana.

The magistrate further noted that a dowry is never paid to a bride.

He said that MNS did not receive any dowry, and neither did her mother receive it alone, as the gifts and tokens were distributed among various family members, aunts, and clan elders (Wazee) according to Akamba tradition.

Nabwana said SWM cannot file a blanket claim against two individuals for assets distributed across an entire community.

The magistrate said a significant portion of the SWM’s financial demand consists of items that are completely non-recoverable under Kenyan law.

Nabwana said that the claims, including slaughtered goats on-site, beer, soda, and vast quantities of food cooked and consumed by all parties and guests present during the two-day festivities, constitute unconditional customary gifts and entertainment overheads.

He said the same: do not form part of the returnable dowry.

“Similarly, commercial public address (P.A.) systems (Sh80,000/=), catering services (Sh180,000/=), clothing/apparel (Mavazi - Sh100,000/=), fuel, and transportation costs (Sh300,000/=) are entirely logistical and transactional choices made by the applicant (SWM) to elevate the occasion. These commercial expenses do not constitute an actual dowry under Kamba customary law, which recognises only specific items like Mbui sya Ntheo and Ngasya livestock assets,” said Nabwana.

The court also noted that SWM and MNS did not register their customary union or obtain a statutory marriage certificate following their rites on November 7, 2025, as required by the Marriage Act 2014.

However, the magistrate held that failure to register or obtain a certificate under the Marriage Act does not automatically invalidate an otherwise legally sound customary marriage that satisfies all traditional rites.

“Customary marriages are organic unions built on communal consensus. Where the core traditional customary requirements for a valid marriage are met, statutory non-registration cannot be used to deny the existence of the union,” said Nabwana.

 

Sh1.17m marriage bill

Total claimed: Sh1,169,650

Customary rites: Ntheo and Ngasya ceremonies held on November 7, 2025

Marriage lasted: About one month

PA system: Sh80,000

Catering: Sh180,000

Clothing/apparel: Sh100,000

Fuel and transport: Sh300,000

Salon business for wife: Sh300,000