Tedtalk: Help, I am 22 and have never had sex

Sports
By Uncle Ted | Oct 02, 2016
I have never had sex. Photo: Courtesy

I am 22 years old. I have never had sex in my entire life. I have dated girls, but whenever the thought of sex comes to my mind, I shudder with shame. I fear embarrassing myself given that I have never had sex. I’m troubled and can’t stand this anymore. I need a lady aged between 20 and 25 years, single and willing to show me how to do it, for free.

Julius

I feel your frustration and hunger brother. Yours is a very rare male species, especially with the explosion of sponsors. The first time I slept with a woman it felt like an all-out attack. It’s like being hit by a truck full of cement and you survive!

So, would you rather wait as a virgin until you are chained in marriage, permanently, to this one woman? Hopefully she’ll be gentle with you because she made the ‘for better or worse’ vow. But, I can tell you, again for free, that she will not be a virgin.

If it was something else being peddled, I would have given you an address where you can buy whatever you’re seeking (there’s nothing like a free lunch brother), or a link to a site with an eyeful of the action you seek.

But then again, I am not that kind of person. In this word, you’ll have to just man up, ingiza dame box and learn on the job. It’s the reality of life. Mambo ya bure wachana nayo!

 

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