My encounter with a Kenyan snob in Dubai

My initiation into life in Dubai is somewhat a pricking thorn in my mind. It gave me a different perception of humanity, a different perception of Kenyans and to be more specific a somewhat strange perception of Kenyan ladies.

I came to Dubai a few years ago to seek greener pastures like everyone else. I was fortunate enough to get an interview and in the first week of arrival. I then had to find my way to the interview (some place called JLT), with uttermost confidence and clad in my only Italian suit then (I have 3 more now), I found my way to the metro (I was advised it’s the cheapest and best way of transport). At the Metro station it took 3 minutes for the metro to arrive and we all got in all and sundry. It was like a mini world of its own carrying a number of different nationalities all in their quest to get an honest living (well some might have been dishonest but who cares). There is always that feeling that is like a wonderful satisfactory inch in the eye when you see a fellow black person in a foreign country and it’s even orgasmic if the person is from your country.

There she stood folks. Like a flower among thorns, chocolate in complexion (a chocolate lily or rose), her voluptuous cornucopia arousing the man in me. Her bosom was very relaxing to look at and her lips formed a pout where they converged. Her legs were shapely and led to two very full (according to Ngugi wa Thiong'o "baby bearing") hips. Despite her form my gaze went to her fingers, (at this point I heard the now famous metro P.A system in Arabic saying “Ittihad," that was the union station and it was my first stop to take a connecting line). I crossed my fingers and cursed the gods, old and new for this. Why would they separate me from such a wonderful creature? But little did I know the best was yet to come. As the metro came to a stop and I disembarked I recalled my wife Sofia back home in Kenya and decided she was better for me. Besides this lady with well-manicured nails, a coconut bosom and who walked like a duck would not match Sofia in making chapatis.

To my astonishment when I got to the elevator, I saw her a few paces in front of me (still striding like a duck because of her big behind. I reminisced of Donald duck in the good old days). To my utter surprise she happened to be going my way. I said the Lord’s Prayer and emphasized on "...lead me not into temptation..." As the second part of the journey started, I put my thoughts to more important and intellectual things (like wondering what the guys building Burj Khalifa were standing on...). At the final stop I came out of the metro with a smile and started meditating on interview questions. I did not know what side of the metro station I should exit from so I had to ask someone. As fate should have it, looking behind me it was her again this time on her phone (chatting with one of her girlfriends I presume from her cues, caws and shrieks) something caught my eye right at that moment she had a bracelet on her hand. Not any other bracelet but a Kenyan flag bracelet.

Good I said to myself, at least I can ask her for directions right? I mean what would go wrong? I gathered my scout boy confidence and approached her (remember am going to ask for directions only). Excuse me.... Excuse me... (She signals me with her finger in the air I think to wait. I don’t speak finger language but the gentleman in me kept my cool and waited. After all I am the one in need) here goes our conversation:

Me: Excuse me, you are Kenyan right?

Her: (looking at me like a witch) how did you know?

Me: (I am a genius) well the bracelet on your arm

Her: (ignoring that and greening like a green gecko coz of the lipstick on her lips) what do you want?

Me: would you kindly show me where to exit from if I am going to.....

Her: I have a boyfriend.... (And she resumed her duck walk and left)

At this point I did not understand how my asking for directions affected her relationship with the boyfriend. I failed to understand how the conversation went downhill from such an honest and innocent inquiry. To cut a long story short I found my way to the interview and to my surprise she was the receptionist...(The good news is that I got the job and everyone is nice) to date every time I walk into the office the shame in her face makes me want to dance Azonto right away. Yesterday I told her to say hi to her boyfriend as she was leaving and she started crying. Apparently the boyfriend left her a week later since the metro station incident...."watu wasalimiange watu hata mabwana huibiwa".... to be continued...

Ken Kibiru

http://kenkibiru.blogspot.ae/2016/06/dubai-chronicles-my-first-week-in-dubai.html