The Unorthodox Woman

Ureport
By William Osoro | May 14, 2016

It is a Monday morning. I grudgingly throw away my blankets. Considering the distance from the male hostel to class, I already know that I will be late for my first class at 8. Half asleep, I don my green towel; take my toothbrush and kibuyu soap then head to the bathroom. This is after I turn up the music on the woofer just to annoy my snoring roommate. It has become some kind of ritual which he started and I joined him since I couldn't beat him. In the washroom, the hoard guys look like hypnotized zombies going around their business. 

The first person I notice is Davi, the award-winning tosspot, busy washing muddy trousers after an overnight stay at F2 club.  His red, bloodshot eyes tell the story. Muge, the religious fanatic on the other hand is hurriedly brushing his shoes probably after a kesha at his church.

My mind wanders to the assignment to be handed in today and I have not made an effort to begin, procrastinating over a period of two weeks. "Ntaifanya tu", I kept telling myself. I patiently wait in line to get into the only working shower since am not a big fan of bathing (doing it from a bucket).

That's when she walks in, bucket in one hand and a towel in the other. I could see all the eyes turn almost synchronously, Muge included. She is wearing a blue, revealing nightdress reaching way up above her knees exposing thick brown thighs. Her nipples are faintly visible through the dress.  Her bulging cleavage seems to be asking to be let out of the dress. I’m mortified. After remaining hypnotized for a few seconds, I come back to my senses and try shifting my gear back to neutral.

She fills her bucket with water, oblivious of the predatory stares and heads to a bathing stall which is empty since it has no running shower. The roving eyes feast on this wonderful creature till the door closes behind her. I could see Davi holding his chin and shaking his head. If only wishes were horses... Muge wears an admonishing look, probably cursing the devil in the process. But am sure the man in him was tingled a bit before he remembered the temptations of Christ. Finally, the guy in the shower who seemed to be cleaning a train comes out and I get in.

Talking to a few friends of mine later on, I get to know that it is not quite unusual to witness such occurrences. "Huyo aliimpotiwa"(she was imported), chimes in Bico. This means that she is not a student of the institution but was visiting her boyfriend most likely.

She made my morning alongside many others'. I do not know why I wrote this, maybe it is because of her, turning my Monday from blue to red, or her countenance-walking into that washroom full of men feeling quite home. Maybe it is due to witnessing the purest form of lust in the eyes of men. Or maybe, I just wrote this because I can't get her out of my limbic system. You be the judge.

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