4 secrets no one tells you about growing up

When I turned 10, I could barely contain my excitement. I had finally reached the two-digit stage and oh! The possibilities it brought. Every part of me was growing; my shoes were now size 4 and the books the teacher gave us were bigger with smaller fonts and they had adult English. At 13, they had a name for me: “teenager”. I had their complete attention and everything I did was excused by the name. At 16, I loved a boy and I think he loved me too but ours was not valid to the world.

At 18, they looked at me expectantly demanding answers to all their questions. “What is your passion?’ Whom will you vote for?” All these were confusing but the new found freedom was too exhilarating to resist. I was an adult! Now I am 20 and I do not know what I am doing. Being an adult I have come to realise is not neat with everything arranged in folders on how things should be done. Everything is messy and confusing. Amidst all these confusion I have learnt a few things about growing up-small bits and pieces to the grand puzzle.

Here are four things I have learnt about this difficult game of growing up that may be of use to you:

1. Your parents are growing older too.

One day, amidst all the chaos as you struggle to gain some recognition in this world, you will stop and realise that your parents are growing old. Maybe you will find them fast asleep on the chair with the prime time news running. They will no longer have the strength or the attention span to sit through the one hour news, something they did like a ritual when you were a child. In that moment, confusion will creep in and you will stare at them and wonder how you got to that point. However, you will shake off all the uncertainty when it hits you that your parents need you and you cannot fail.

2. You will lose friends.

With time, your best friends will choose different career paths and you will struggle to relate to each other’s stories. They will marry strange men and get children that will fill up all their time. After many calls that are filled with awkward silence and scarce lunches that are full of forced laughter you will have to admit that your friendship is dying. Not because of fights or disinterest but because life is life. No one ever warns you about this sort of heartbreak…

3. Death will become your acquaintance

Parents, friends, siblings and strangers; Once in a while, death will make a stop-over at your house and make itself at home. Suddenly, you will be the one explaining to the children the concept of death and heaven. You will resent death but have no choice but to be strong. On the other hand, when things get too hard you will console yourself with the knowledge that death sooner or later will come for all of us. Death will become your acquaintance.

4. it’s all a game.

After one too many disappointments and tears, you will notice that nobody actually knows for sure what they are doing. Everything is a façade. If you are wise you will join the game and learn the rules. Make eye-contact, dress well, be nice and confident. Sometimes you fight and fight hard. Just remember nothing is a make or break it’s all a game.