Family dynamics can make or break you

Sunday Magazine
By Esther Muchene | Sep 11, 2022

Family is one of the most important aspects of our lives. [istockphoto]

Family is one of the most important aspects of our lives. These special people, whether biological or chosen, offer us the best support when we find ourselves in need. But just like relationships, your family dynamics can have a huge effect on your mental health and productivity.

How well do you communicate with each other? How are your interactions? These are some of the questions you need to ask yourself if you truly want to understand your own family dynamics. The reason this is super important is that it has an influence on how you behave with others, and how you see yourself in your own eyes. Family relations also determine the success of your romantic relationships.

It is through your family that you first learn how to relate to others. They have a big influence on how you get along with others.

But as an adult with a mind of their own, negative family dynamics can be broken with you. They are not limited to the current generation. You now have power and control over your destiny and those dynamics you deem negative should not shape your perceptions and actions moving forward. That however is not always as easy as it seems.

This is because if you grew up with an absent parent, a super strict parent, a family member with a disability or chronic illness, substance abuse, divorce, or a family member's status or power, to mention a few, these factors will affect you somehow. They will find a way to show up into your adulthood, triggering certain emotions. If not dealt with, with the help of a professional therapist, you may deal with emotional labour for the rest of your life.

By being self-aware you will understand the impact it will have on your life entirely. For instance, your family dynamics can affect how you react to team members who vie for your attention as a leader. It may also affect how you respond to work pressure.

If that is not enough, you may start to redirect your emotions usually negative, to a loved one. This could be a child or partner. This transference will determine how the other person receives it and gives it back to you, which may not always be a pleasant experience.

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