Monogamy vs polygamy: Which is peaceful?

It is common to hear women rejecting the idea of polygamy (Photo: Courtesy)

The two major categories of relationships that have existed for decades are monogamy and polygamy. The understanding of which one would be better shifts depending on your perspective on culture and relationships in general.

For many people though, the goal in life is to find your best friend and spend the rest of your lives together. That is, monogamy.

The moment you’re in a committed relationship officially, the last thing you would want is your man or woman coning home with someone else. Even in cultures where the man is allowed to have multiple wives, it is common to hear women rejecting the idea of bringing another woman into the mix.

For others, monogamy is seen as some sort of an unnatural concept. Some people believe that polygamy was and should be the default perspective on relationships and we often wonder whether that could be true.

One main comparison that always seems to come up is, which one is more peaceful between the two. Should we think about shifting from monogamy to polygamy? Here are a few points that might give you some answers:

• Is monogamy better?

The first advantage of monogamy is that it is more socially acceptable which in a way brings more peace. When you say you’re getting married, people are more accepting if you are actually getting married to one person as compared to entering a family of a couple of people.

The other thing with monogamy is that you feel more emotionally secure, especially for women, since you don’t have to worry that your husband is about to share your love with others. If you are the first wife (in polygamy), it feels like you did all the work for strangers to enjoy especially if you built your wealth all the way up together from nothing.

Of course there is the issue of cheating in monogamous relationships but people would still rather have that boundary of one man and one woman.

Would you consider being in a polygamous relationship? (Photo: Courtesy)

• What about polygamy?

In situations where it has been successful, there are a couple of benefits that might argue it is a better alternative to monogamy.

As a woman there is less pressure to make your spouse happy since there are other women to help you along the way. And, there is also that element of financial security since many women would actually choose to get married to a wealthy man who is polygamous than struggle with one broke guy.

At the same time, according to statistics, polygamous relationships have a higher probability of issues like financial neglect since it is hard for one man to provide for each family equally every time. There is also the issue of jealousy and resentment among wives and the big elephant in the room of whether it is a justified excuse for men to be promiscuous.

In many instances also, children out of polygamy tend to be the unhappiest, neglected and with many traumatic experiences stemming from these arrangements.

Conclusion

There is a reason why polygamy still isn’t as popular as monogamy. Both have their own unique challenges but somehow, people would still choose to deal with all the issues that come with monogamy as compared to polygamy.

Something to also think about is, very few men can properly manage a polygamous lifestyle. It’s not just about collecting wives because you have to provide equally with each wife you marry. There is more to it than finances.

Based on these factors, success rates and happiness, monogamy remains a more peaceful option.