Why single women find married men attractive?

Single women believe married men are more caring and committed (Photo: iStock)

If you want to really ruffle some feathers, bring this topic up. Single women getting into entanglements with married men is a huge problem here in Kenya and some people even take pride in using married men for the thrill of it.

It's sometimes hard to understand what causes women to chase after married men so much. Young girls on campus and even middle-aged women get involved with men who are taken for crazy reasons.

Having this discussion is the only way to understand what exactly motivates these women. Here is a breakdown of some things that get married men all this attention:

• Covetousness for what they can't have

Some ladies long to have a complete family just like what married men give to their families. They might have tried for years to find someone to take them seriously but it hasn't worked out.

The next best option is to get a man who has had that dream family life already. They know he probably won't leave his wife anytime soon but she will still hope that one day she can be his official wife. At this rate even being number two counts.

• Financial perks

Being single is one struggle but, single plus broke? Now that's a whole other level. This desperation has led many ladies, especially broke campus girls and ladies who aren't in the best financial situations to use married men as a ticket out of poverty.

They assume that, if this man is able to afford a wedding, take care of his wife and pay school fees for his kids, he will be able to support her.

They don't realise that not all married men have the kind of money they think they do and in many cases, these men's wives are the ones doing all the hard work financially.

• Married men are assumed to be more committed

This makes total sense, after all, he proposed, paid the dowry, threw a wedding and is now living with his wife.

Men who are committed are attractive to all ladies. But in this case, a married guy becomes more attractive because he actually decided to tie the knot and legally bind himself to his wife. That's a level of commitment that many guys lack and is probably why some ladies find them appealing.

• Dealing with them is less stressful

Real relationships require hard work and that is something many ladies aren't willing to stress over especially if they had bad experiences with younger single men. The boring routines and expectations might be too much to deal with so it's assumed that it will be better to have a transactional relationship with a married man.

A man who is taken is too busy with his life to be concerned with unnecessary details. That stress-free kind of relationship is considered a perk because the woman still has some independence on her side to do whatever she wants whenever.

• It's thrilling

There are also women who just like the idea of getting attention from a man who is married.

Even if they don't actually get into relationships with them, the attention they get from a man who is wearing a wedding band is enough to fuel some intoxicating feelings within.

They might be prettier or even have a better figure than his wife and they use that to feel better about themselves. It's simply an ego boost.