Folks at KFC are forced to eat ‘kiwaru’

KFC restaurant delivery agent on standby Nairobi CBD [David Gichuru, Standard]

Good morning, Mr Jacques Theunissen.

I suspect you might scoff and ask what’s so good about the morning, possibly because you are having what we call kiwaru. It’s hard to find an English equivalence for the expression, but since you are in the business of selling potatoes, it means having a hot potato stuck in the throat.

No one is talking of strangulation, although your business must be under such strong strain, it might feel like a chokehold, so the kiwaru metaphor is appropriate.

Kenyans were outraged that you have failed to offer business opportunities to local farmers. They proposed you start importing customers, as you import chips from Europe and elsewhere.

In my house, KFC products were banned eons ago for other reasons, not the politics of supply chains. Last week, I may possibly have picked the bag of chips because I gave a peace offering to my children for staying out late. The young men of the house now expect a KFC treat, once a year.

If my business frequency doesn’t sound regular enough, think about the Kenyan farmers who have been fed with the same nonsense for 11 years, about KFC’s potato quality and safety being unmatched locally. As our people say: usitubebe malenge—no need for translation.