What ails majority of Kenyan families and how we can fix it

The world marks the United Nations International Day of Families next Thursday May 15. How can we ensure we all stay focused on what ails the Kenyan family and not be hijacked by narrow agendas financed by foreigners?

As the cradle of humanity, Kenya has had several millions of years of indigenous family values and family-making experience. The arrival of Zanzibari Arabs in the 18th century brought the Islamic faith and new family values along the coast. The second foreign influence imposed Christian values and an Anglo-centric definition of "The Family".

With the British missionaries and colonialism, came hut taxes and monogamy. Traditional religious values and family planning practices were discouraged or criminalised. For the first time, fathers were forced to leave their families, migrate and offer labour to settler towns and European farms. Compliance with new family values led to preferential educational access, administrative positions and economic opportunities.

What Prof Ali Mazrui would call "Kenya's Triple Heritage" has left it impossible to generalise the Kenyan family today. We have extended, polygamous, nuclear, monogamous, blended, multi-generational, foster, childless and refugee families among others. Today, families are led by a single adult parent, grandparents, co-parents, adopted parents, same-sex couples, other collective care arrangements and children.

The 2025 KNBS Economic Survey suggests all Kenyan families probably face similar human rights related challenges in varying degrees. Most families strain under the high cost of living, increased taxes and unemployment. With inadequate mental health services, families are managing anxiety, depression, substance abuse and even suicidal family members on their own. Children in conflict with the law is up 27.8 per cent with boys accounting for 85 per cent of the cases. Rape is up 6.3 per cent in the last year.

Released last month, the Health Ministry Abortion Related Complications study informs us that one woman died every day due to pregnancy and birth related complications in 2024. Our unintended pregnancy and abortion rates remain among the highest in the region with one in four women reporting having experienced intimate partner violence in the six months prior to their abortion. It is notable that the Health Ministry sampled women largely between 25-34 years, educated, married and identified as Christian.

Concluding with "restrictive abortion laws do not [stop] abortions; they only make abortions less safe", the Health Ministry calls for strengthening of family planning services and extending services to more women and adolescents. Both studies must serve as a wake-up call to those organising two "African Family Values" regional conferences in Entebbe and Nairobi this month.

Past conferences have created opportunities to call for harsher restrictions and defunding of reproductive health family services and the demonisation of sexual minorities. Ironically, most conference keynote speakers are white European and American men and the sponsors, conservative evangelical leaning US-based interests such as Family Watch International, C-Fam and the Alliance Defending Freedom. 12,000 people have petitioned the Kenya Red Cross and Boma Hotel not to host the Nairobi conference. They cite previous conferences being used to encourage hate bills in Uganda and Ghana.

Two years on, the Uganda Anti-Homosexuality Act (2023) has placed tremendous strain on families with LGBTQ children or parents. By criminalising personal choices, the Act has licenced "bedroom policing" by the state. It has led to widespread extortion by authorities, denial of services by landlords and medical facilities, rejection in places of learning, work and worship and violence.

The challenges all our families face today are real. Any conversation that seeks to deepen values of love, acceptance, safety, dignity and respect must be encouraged. Let's rigorously debate attempts to create a moral panic against any individual or family. Let's actively contest those that argue hate-based laws will solve the massive problems Kenya's modern families face. It will not.

Have a great family day. What makes your family, a family?