Hi Chris,
I love my husband, but I wish we were happier together! There’s nothing wrong, but I’d like to feel more connected. The trouble is that life’s too hectic. Any thoughts?
More Connected.
Hi More Connected!
It is difficult to feel connected when you’re busy, but there are some small daily habits that will help loads.
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Like you’ll be happier if you check in with each other throughout the day. Just a message so that you both know that you’re thinking about one another.
Show your appreciation for anything you do for one another. Just a simple ‘thank you’ is all it takes. And don’t keep score. Do things for one another without expecting anything in return.
Tease each other, laugh and joke together, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Because nitpicking sucks all the happiness out of a relationship. Instead, focus on what you both do right, and learn to let the other things go.
Give each other space to pursue an individual interest that you don’t share, or just to be alone.
Learn to listen. Simply listening, really listening, means you’ll have a better chance of actually understanding each other. And once you do, you’ll feel much more connected.
Make trust and forgiveness the centre of your relationship. Talk together openly and honestly, and don’t either of you do anything that might worry the other.
Create rituals and routines that you do together every day - and it’s the simplest things that make you happiest. So always get ready for bed together at the same time. Say ‘I love you’ every morning and ‘Good night’ every night, or something just as nice. Secretly hold hands whenever you can in public.
Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work. You may be tired and stressed, but a hug will completely change your mood. So make this a ritual you work hard at.
And be proud to be seen with your partner. Are you? Constantly work on appreciating the good points everyone else sees. And that maybe you’ve started taking for granted.
All the best,
Chris