It is no secret that people these days like to indulge in meaningless hook ups; some say friends with benefits, no strings attached, flings, whatever you want to call it, a lot of us have done it, and most times we have succeeded at doing so without both parties catching feelings.
But, there’s always that one person that you will definitely develop feelings for, even if both of you agreed that there were no strings attached, and it was purely to satisfy your “urges” without the commitment and everything that relationships bring with them.
Now when this happens, you go through this phase where you don’t want to ruin the dynamic of the relationship both of you have, at the same time, you want to follow your mind and heart and see where it might go. Usually a bad idea these days.
There are two ways that it could go. One, you can decide not to tell him and keep your feelings to yourself and hope for them to go away, (you can discard those feelings for him in some other guy and a tub of ice cream)
Two. You decide to tell him, and either he tells you he feels the same way and you guys decide to build towards something, or he looks at you and says, “I thought we said no strings,” or the dreadful “ I’m sorry, I don’t feel the same way, I hope we can remain friends”.
When this happens, your world kind of stops for a second and you feel the sting in its raw state and you want to lash out at this guy for being “insensitive” by reminding you what you both agreed on. You want to cry and just run and hide and hope he moves to another city so you never have to face him again, if you’re lucky, he actually will move and you never see him again, OR you guys hang around the same social circles so you get to see even more of him. Most of the time, when you’re trying not to see someone you actually end up seeing them the most.
Then you feel like crying all over again, or you feel like the earth should swallow you whole and you just disappear.
This is also the time when those annoying nosy friends of yours start asking you about what happened, while he’s right there, “like hello, he is right here and you already know what happened”
Truth be told, we’ve all been there, it actually feels like your heart has been broken and he becomes the insensitive guy.
Simple rule to make sure that never happens to you, don’t randomly hook up with a guy you actually already like, or a guy within your social circle, it never ends well.
Rule 2, if you see this guy is literally treating you like the typical hump and dump, occupy yourself with, you know, your own life so you have your own stuff going on.
And when he leaves you feeling helpless, get up dust yourself and keep moving, making sure you don’t completely write him off, that’s unhealthy for you, unless he was a complete douche faced bastard.
Ladies, don’t complicate things, if you like the guy, tell him you like him, don’t let yourself hide behind the hook up in the hopes that he will develop feelings for you.
If you want to do the nasty with him, then do just that.
In the event that you still develop feelings for the guy, put yourself first, always, cause it all goes away. You will need to remind yourself that he is just another guy, and you did agree to the terms of your relationship, and it did not work, and drop a tear, have some chocolate cake and ice cream and move on.