Hi Chris,
Some of my male friends at work were complaining that their wives mistreat them. I laughed them off, but then started wondering if my husband would say the same! Might I be doing something that’s upsetting my husband without me realising?
Hurting my Husband
Hi Hurting my Husband!
Women often say the most devastating things to their husbands. So avoid mockery, hostile humour, name-calling, eye-rolling and sneering. Instead, find constructive ways of saying what needs to be said.
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Having unrealistic expectations can be very damaging. Happiness and contentment come from within, so strongly resist implying that all your problems result from your husband’s shortcomings.
Don’t attack his every flaw, magnifying every mistake and pointing out every failure, because everyone makes mistakes.
It’s hard living with someone negative all the time, even if you’re basically putting yourself down. It’s better to be happy with who you are and find ways to enhance each other’s lives rather than complaining.
Withholding sex is also hugely damaging. Your husband needs to connect with you sexually, just as you need to connect emotionally. Neither’s right nor wrong, you’re just different. You’d be really upset if he stopped talking to you for weeks, wouldn’t you? You expect your needs to be met, so it’s only fair to meet his.
If you start showing your husband that you don’t respect his opinions, he’ll soon start looking for approval somewhere else. So instead of being critical, just listen to him.
Avoid belittling your husband in front of your friends and family. Even if he’s done something stupid, you don’t need to tell everyone.
And don’t reject his advice. Men like fixing things, so if you have a problem, he’ll suggest ways to solve it. But if you’re dismissive, it sends the message that you don’t value his ideas. You don’t have to follow every suggestion he makes. But do pay attention and think about them.
Because you can either build your husband up or tear him down. The choice is yours. But there’s no doubt which one will produce the happier marriage!
All the best,
Chris