Sexual shame often manifests in ways that people may not immediately recognise. Psychologist Monica Oyoo says some of the signs include difficulty talking about sex, feeling uncomfortable when others talk about sex and being reluctant to respond to a partner’s advances.
This shame can affect relationships and intimacy. It can lower self-esteem, create feelings of guilt around intimacy and cause emotional distance between partners.
According to Monica, sexual shame mainly stems from cultural or religious beliefs that shape how people view sexuality. Addressing it begins with understanding its origins.
“It could be cultural or religious. You need to recognise that those are not your own beliefs and reframe them to guide you differently,” Monica says.
She adds that self-love and self-compassion will help to shift away from guilt. Positive self-talk, open communication, and creating an environment free from judgment are important steps to take.
Confiding in a therapist can also help individuals unlearn shame-based patterns. Practical exercises include mindfulness, which helps people connect with their bodies, and reframing negative thoughts about pleasure.
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“Embracing sexual exploration without guilt requires rewiring how you think about it and developing a healthier attitude,” Monica explains.
To nurture sex positivity, couples can start by indulging in everyday sensual activities like taking a mindful bath, cuddling, dancing and sensual massage.
They can practise open communication filled with empathy and active listening to make each other feel understood. Discussing needs in a supportive, judgement-free space allows partners to feel understood. Making time to connect without judgment strengthens intimacy and encourages a positive relationship.
This promotes sexual and emotional wellness. Safety, consent and freedom are major factors for people to embrace sex positivity since they allow them to fully be themselves and rid them of guilt.
“Couples can address sexual shame with respect, communication, and confidentiality. Safety reduces shame because it removes guilt and judgment,” Monica says.
Long-term healing, she adds, comes from self-acceptance and appreciating your partner. She advises couples to view intimacy through a positive lens.