Hi Chris,
I kissed my latest crush for the first time yesterday, and suddenly lost interest in him. He wasn’t a bad kisser or anything; I just felt ‘the ick’. Was it a mistake? Would things have got better if I’d stuck with him?
Lost Interest!
Hi, Lost Interest!
Kissing is pretty much universal and seems to date back to the dawn of time. Though there are some differences in the details, for example, a few cultures sniff each other’s cheeks instead.
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Kissing has always been a greeting and in many historical cultures, people also kissed to seal contracts. This is where the saying ‘sealed with a kiss’ comes from and explains why couples kiss during marriage ceremonies. So kissing isn’t just a romantic gesture; originally, it showed that the couple had entered into a marriage contract!
Kissing has also always been associated with love, making it inevitably a little ambiguous and full of possibilities. This is why ‘the first kiss’ is such an important moment in every romance.
It’s also clearly part of the decision-making process because, no matter how attracted you are to someone new, your interest usually disappears if that first kiss goes badly. I don’t mean that it was clumsy. Many first kisses are and every couple gets over that.
However, the real purpose of a kiss is for our bodies to analyse the chemicals on our lips and skin to determine whether our genes and immune systems are compatible.
Of course, you’re completely unaware of your subconscious mind figuring all this out. So, if you’re a match, you’ll just find your lover’s kisses irresistible and you’ll get that awful ‘ick’ feeling if not! If you feel that way, the chances are you’ll never be completely happy together. We also learn a few other things; for example, the way a man kisses helps a woman decide whether he has the confidence to be a good lover and whether he understands the subtleties of social life.
So kissing is important in every relationship, you were almost certainly right to let your crush go!
All the best,
Chris