Hi Chris,
We’ve not long been married so we’re very romantic and cuddle up close all night. That’s nice of course, but I can’t really get a good night’s rest like that.
How can I sleep better without disappointing my husband?
Tired!
Hi Tired!
That lovely movie scene with her head cradled on his shoulder is really only for the cameras. Very few couples actually sleep like that. Except maybe brand new couples like you, who try to sleep cuddled up face to face. And get cramp in their arms and wake up stiff all over!
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So most couples quickly settle into the spoons position during their first few years together. Sleeping side-by-side, facing in the same direction and touching just about everywhere. That’s so intimate and warm that I’m sure your husband won’t be disappointed.
With time that will probably evolve into both of you lying any which way, but with one or both legs touching or linked together. That’s still full of romance and intimacy, but also gives you a greater sense of independence.
Many couples end up sleeping back to back. Either with their backs pressed closely together, or hardly touching at all.
During difficulties in a relationship, one partner often lies on their back whilst the other snuggles-up. But if that starts to become more or less permanent, it implies that the one lying on their back is dominating the relationship.
Then of course there are couples where one person sprawls out across almost all of the bed, leaving their partner squeezed up to the edge. Dominating the sleeping arrangements, just as they probably dominate the rest of the relationship.
And sadly, many couples end up sleeping quite separately. On opposite sides of the bed maybe, or in a separate bed or bedroom altogether. There’s little intimacy between them, and probably some big underlying problems in the relationship, even if no one’s admitting to them.
But don’t panic. Sleeping separately is also common when one of the partners has annoying habits. Like snoring, kicking, or sleeping with their legs in the air!
All the best,
Chris