Five red flags waving at Nairobi men (Photo: iStock)

She has a Brayo who checks on her every other time but whenever you try to ask about the closeness, she brands you as jealous and insecure.

Two people you can’t advise, they say. A  woman madly in love and a man with money. But have you ever tried advising a man who has fallen head over heels for a woman? Do they hear? Talk about the proverbial red flags that women sing about all the time - men tend to ignore these flags all the time. The human heart is a complicated organ and once it's immersed in love, eyes and ears rarely function!

Women have been assuming wifey roles since we got here, at this very point, but there are men who play serious husband roles to girls they will never get close to marrying even if Kingdom comes. Red flags are always visible from day one, but a man will focus on the few positives and/or hope for a change, or the best as time goes by.

First of all, it’s not very easy to understand a woman. It’s not! Philegona will be with you here, all over you ticking in all the boxes, cooking soft layered chapos and black njahi stew that tastes like sin, washing your dirty jeans and scrubbing your bathroom floor yet her heart is somewhere else. She can stay with you for convenience, status or financial stability as she watches out for her main man.

And even when it appears to you and your people that she has laid down her heart for you, she could wake up tomorrow and leave. And there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it! You’ve been severally told to set aside few hours of the day to fear who? Women, no?

Red flag number one: You’ve been together for a good while. You’ve done this that, planned, joked about having three beautiful bundles of joy you even have suggested beautiful Zulu names for them. But babes isn’t ready to have kids yet, 6 years, 3 months down the line. No good reason. She just is not ready! Listen Benjamin, it's not that she doesn’t want kids. She doesn’t want them with you!

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Red flag number two: Babe fully depends on you financially. Even on small small things that she should work out on herself, she won’t spend a coin from her pockets. She’ll text you to buy a toilet paper roll. That’s 40/- but she won’t buy. A woman who sees potential in a man works hard for her own little cash and wouldn’t leave all bills to him.

The moment you realize that she’s asking you for every expenditure and is not keen on saving or cutting down costs on a few occasions, she’s not for keeps man. She wouldn’t mind draining you to your very last coin.

Red flag number three: Girl is not excited about your relationship and hasn’t introduced you to her girl gang, colleague or favourite sister. We all know that a woman in love is always excited about it and will mention to one or two of her favourite peeps. But if she talks of a small circle of 3 friends who are introverts and don’t like meeting people or tells you she prefers her relationship private bla bla, red flag.

Red flag number four: Agatha plays too nice to you and everyone around you for so long but doesn’t want commitment or if you propose marriage, she bursts with an excuse of not being financially stable to start a family and other short stories. And especially if there’s good money and expensive treats that she enjoys, she will stay for the fine things but will be available out here looking for the love of her live.

Number five: Mpoa wako has a bunch of friends of the opposite gender, hangs out with them and one or two are her besties. She has a Brayo who checks on her every other time but whenever you try to ask about the closeness she’d brand you a jealous and insecure lover. When you two have a hiccup in your relationship she pours her heart to her Kevo bestie who even takes her out for booze and chom to calm her out. Listen bro, your assistant is right there within the bestie-zone.

A woman will be in a situationship with a man she knows so well she won’t marry eventually, doing all the doables complete with PDAs but still go on her knees in his presence to silently pray for a life partner, a man of their dreams, the love of her life. So don’t be cheated by her exclusiveness. Bee keen, be woke, have doubts.