As families celebrate Father’s Day this month, a nearly-century-old observation by neurologist and founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, has once again found relevance in conversations about parenting and child development.
“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection,” Freud wrote in his 1930 book Civilisation and Its Discontents.
The quote has attracted new attention in child psychology circles this month as mental health professionals explore the role fathers play in a child’s emotional well-being and sense of security.
Consultant psychologist James Bosse explains that Freud was highlighting the important role fathers traditionally played as providers of safety, stability, structure and social guidance.
“Psychologically, a father has been viewed as a source of security and stability. In many societies, fathers helped create structure and order in the family and community, giving children a sense of predictability and protection,” he says.
He notes that healthy fatherly protection goes beyond physical safety to include emotional and psychological protection. This is about setting consistent boundaries, being present in a child’s life, predictable behaviour, nurturing relationships, and responsive caregiving. Fathers who listen, attune to and validate their children’s feelings, and provide guidance help create an environment where children feel secure enough to grow and express themselves.
By spending time with their children, advocating for them and being emotionally attuned, they help build strong, secure attachments that support healthy development.
“Fathers who show empathy, reassurance and active listening during moments of fear, stress or uncertainty help children regulate their emotions and cope with challenges,” he says.
Encouragement and affirmation are powerful forms of protection. Children who feel valued and supported cultivate stronger self-esteem and greater psychological resilience. They are more likely to approach challenges with confidence and less likely to be overwhelmed by anxiety.
He adds that guidance and mentorship serve a protective role. Through sharing life lessons and helping children solve problems, fathers equip young people with the skills they need to cope with challenges independently.
“Discipline, when delivered in a healthy and respectful way, is a form of protection, as it teaches self-control and sound decision-making,” he says.
Positive early interactions help establish trust and emotional stability that goes into adulthood. They also strengthen a child’s sense of belonging and identity.
He observes that children can still experience a sense of protection even when a father is not physically present if they have created the bond.
“Sometimes the knowledge that a father is available and supportive creates a lasting feeling of safety,” he says.
Even though fathers don’t need to appear strong at all times to be protective, James says that men still feel they need to be constantly strong due to ingrained cultural expectations and traditional ideas of masculinity.
He further notes that younger generations are redefining fatherhood and are emotionally present. He says that children benefit from seeing that sadness and disappointment are normal human experiences. Fathers who acknowledge mistakes and apologise when necessary are stronger role models, as this behaviour builds trust and strengthens emotional security.
“In fact, appropriate vulnerability can strengthen the relationship. When fathers express emotions honestly without overwhelming their children, they model emotional health and authenticity,” he says.
He continues: “Fathers are involved in everyday caregiving these days. Many of them are helping with homework, spending quality time with their children and becoming more emotionally engaged. Fatherhood is becoming more relational and nurturing.”
As children grow, their protection needs evolve. During infancy, protection is physically about safety and caregiving. By adolescence, it is about preparing them for independence through guidance and mentorship.
A father's protective presence can influence a child's willingness to explore the world. Children who feel secure are more curious and independent since they know support is available when needed. This emotional safety allows them to be confident to take healthy risks and learn from experiences.
The effects of early experiences of protection can influence trust, intimacy, conflict management, and the way they approach romantic relationships and family life in adulthood.
“Parents also need to be aware that overprotection is harmful, as it prevents children from developing competence and confidence. They need to give space for children opportunities to make age-appropriate decisions and learn from manageable mistakes,” he says.
Children who grow up without a father’s protection are more prone to experience insecurity, anxiety, difficulties with trust and challenges in forming healthy attachments. Some are overly independent, while others seek emotional security through unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Signs that a child feels unsafe or unsupported include anxiety, emotional dysregulation, withdrawal, clinginess, aggression or behavioural difficulties at school.
“However, healing is possible through supportive relationships and counselling. This can help children develop resilience and recover from earlier experiences of instability,” he says.
He notes that modern psychology also believes that protection is not limited to biological fathers. Since society has changed emotionally, socially and economically, fathers, who were once viewed as dependable caregivers who provided safety, are sometimes only present biologically. Protection then comes from mothers, grandparents, uncles, guardians, mentors and other caring adults who can also provide the same emotional safety and secure attachment that children need to thrive.
“While children still thrive when they feel someone is consistently looking out for their wellbeing, protection is no longer seen as the responsibility of fathers alone,” he says.
James believes that ideal fatherhood blends protection with vulnerability.
“A strong father is both dependable and emotionally available. Protection is about physical safety, guidance, affirmation, discipline, emotional support and presence,” he says.