Thirty years ago, Jerusha Otieno grew up in an ordinary village setting in Kasipul Kabondo.
“At dawn in my village back then, the day once began with the clatter of water jerricans. Children, balancing yellow containers, walked to the river or borehole before school, while others milked cows, fetched firewood, swept the compound, or pounded maize. Chores were a rite of passage, weaving responsibility into everyday life,” she says.
It was more than just routine—it was culture. These daily tasks grounded children in the rhythm of life, teaching them patience, endurance, and above all, a sense of shared responsibility.
Fast forward to today. In many urban households, mornings are a flurry of school runs and packed lunches, with parents or hired help ensuring beds are made, uniforms pressed, and plates cleared.
Children often head out the door without lifting a finger. The scene is efficient—but it raises an important question: Are we raising entitled children?
Catherine Mugendi, a family coach and counsellor, says that for generations, chores were not considered optional. “They taught teamwork, resilience, and self-reliance,” she explains.
Keep Reading
- Self care: The path to being a better parent
- How to deal with sibling rivalry
- How to introduce children to budget literacy
- Modern fatherhood: Rise of the present dad
However, she notes that times have changed. Urbanisation, shrinking family sizes, and the rise of domestic help have transformed the household dynamic.
“Many modern parents want their children to focus on school and co-curricular activities, believing chores will ‘waste time’. Yet the result, some argue, is children growing up without basic life skills,” she warns.
Indeed, as the pace of modern life quickens, many parents find themselves trapped between competing priorities: giving their children the best academic start and ensuring they grow into capable, grounded adults.
According to 68-year-old Agnes Wambui, a grandmother from Ndakaini, Thika, her childhood was defined by hard work and shared responsibilities.
“We learned to respect work and value every coin,” she recalls. “You knew from a young age that you were part of the family engine; without your help, something wouldn’t get done.”
This contrast is evident in today’s parenting experiences. Justina Naliaka, a mother of two teenagers, shares a telling moment. She laughs as she recounts: “When my daughter went to boarding school, she called me crying because she didn’t know how to wash her clothes. I realised I had done her a disservice by doing everything for her.”
For 12-year-old Dalian Nzioka, chores are about fairness. “I don’t like washing dishes every day when my sister just sits. If we shared, it would be okay,” he says, articulating a sense of justice that resonates with many siblings.
Nine-year-old Aisha Oma has a different take. She finds joy in helping: “I like cooking with mum. She lets me stir ugali and taste the stew. I feel proud,” she says, smiling shyly.
These children’s voices highlight a key divide: while some see chores as a burden or punishment, others experience them as a form of bonding and empowerment.
Dr Ruth Maina, a child psychologist, says this emotional framing matters deeply. “Chores are not just about clean dishes or folded clothes,” she explains.
“They build executive functioning—the ability to plan, organise, and complete tasks. Children who do chores regularly tend to be more independent, resilient, and empathetic.”
However, she cautions against using chores as punishment. “When we say, ‘Because you misbehaved, scrub the floor,’ we create a negative association with work. Chores should be part of family teamwork, not penalties,” she adds.
Sociologist Prof David Oduor provides a broader context: “Globalisation and technology have shifted childhood. Kids today spend more time on screens, less time in communal or domestic work. Parents must now navigate a tricky balance between modern education priorities and teaching responsibility at home.”
The Mutai Kibuthu family offers an example of how this balance can be struck. They assign every child a daily chore. The eldest, 16, makes dinner twice a week. The youngest, 7, waters plants and helps clean shoes.
Their mother, Lydia, believes this instils ownership: “It makes them responsible. They know if they don’t do it, the family suffers. We’re a team.”
Contrast that with Otieno Onyango’s family in Nairobi. In their home, the housekeeper does everything. When their 18-year-old son left for university abroad, he did not know how to fry an egg or operate a washing machine. His first months were a struggle.
“We thought we were protecting him,” his father admits, “but we realised we had crippled him.”
These examples illustrate a growing concern: Are we unintentionally handicapping our children in the name of love and comfort?
Experts warn that entitlement grows when children are shielded from responsibility but are still lavished with privileges and praise.
“When parents do everything—from tying shoelaces to cleaning up after a teenager—children may start believing they are owed service,” says Dr Maina. “This can extend into adulthood, affecting work ethic, relationships, and emotional maturity.”
However, there is hope. Mugendi encourages parents to start small and shift the narrative.
“Parents can introduce chores gradually, framing them as contributions to the family, not punishments. When children understand the ‘why’ behind tasks, they’re more likely to take pride in them.”
Chores today may look different from they did decades ago. While children may no longer fetch water or herd goats, they can still help prepare meals, load the dishwasher, manage recycling, or help plan a family budget. The key is not what they do, but why they do it.
“It’s about instilling responsibility, empathy, and the idea that everyone has a role to play,” says Mugendi. “In the end, chores are not about cleanliness, they’re about character.”
As one wise grandmother put it: “Work never killed a child, it only prepared them for life.”