Wives are sneaky beings. You receive a polite call to go get little Farrah from the salon and drop her home as the mother is caught up in some chama stuff.
You stop watching the match to go for the little princess and drop her home. She looks stunning in her new hair-do.
As soon as you as you start driving off with her, the woman from the salon runs after the car. You stop and she asks for cash. You ask her, "how much?" and she shamelessly tells you Sh3,500.
You are livid. You want to explode, but you contain yourself. You ask her if they have a "Lipa na MPESA", and she gladly gives you the number where you can send the money to. Little Farrah has no idea what is going on, she is buried in her tablet, watching God-knows-what.
She goes to the salon, three times a month, and if that is what they pay, that is a cool Sh10,000. For a five-year old, that is way too much. It is obscene.
When her mother arrives, she is extremely pleased with the job on her jewel's head. She hugs and pecks her. They now get along somewhat, after the initial icy moments following her winning the custody from her terrible father.
You are fond of her and want the best for her. But the best does not include Sh3,500 hairdos every 10 days. Not in your household.
"I paid Sh3,500, for that. I think that is too much..." You tell her mother.
"Excuse me, so you want a refund?" she asks with a stinking sarcasm.
"No. I think we should shave her. We can't afford Sh10,000 monthly on a child's hair..."
She gives you an incredulous look. It is like you suggested you sacrifice her for some persistent medieval ritual.
"You kidding, right?" she asked.
"No kidding," you reply.
"That will never happen. Forget about it. Even the idea itself stinks..."
"She is a pretty girl, she can wait until she is 18, and from there she can afford to do it. You are burdening her..."
"Are you listening to yourself!"
You realise that has worked herself up and her volatile temper is about to explode. But Farrah will be shaved, whether the mother likes or not.
You will base it on a cultural rite which stipulates that a child has to be shaved by her grandmother at least once. If the rite does not exist, you will invent it. And the success of your marriage is pegged on that.
You know Carol or any woman may think that is petty, but every coin saved will insure Farrah's future. Shaving will save your household lots of money. Already, the mother is spending impossible amounts on her hair and hair products.
Of course, you want the best for Farrah. You want her exposed to the best at a young age, so that sponsors will not take advantage of her when she is older, misusing her because they paid a fortune for a weave.
But maybe you wait until she is 15. For now, either her or her mum, will have to shave, or you will withdraw your financial support.
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