So when you asked her if she lives with anyone, as an indirect way of getting to know her relationship status, she gave you that look that measures if you are worth the intricate bits of her life. The ten second wait before she replied, as she looked you in the eye was the longest ten seconds in your life. Her eyes penetrated your mind, psyche and intuition, you nearly regretted why you asked.

"No, I am actually single," she said.

Thankfully she did not add the cliché 'not ready to mingle.'

"Oooh, that is really some good news, sometimes it is good we know these things from the word go, before we get it twisted," you say. She keeps quiet. OK, she is weird. But you notice she is reading your mind. She is being careful and economic with the truth. At this rate, you are becoming a parrot, you decide to check yourself. You release her for the evening with a promise that you might pass by in the middle of the week, just to check up with her. She tells you. "Anytime.

When she leaves, you lie in the sofa, gazing the ceiling, plotting. She is quite some big test in all your dating escapades. She can sense the player in you. You can detect she is attracted to the animal magnetism you exude but she has either dealt with players enough, or her mama warned her against bad boys. So she is really suppressing the excitement of meeting a man your age, doing well and single. In the past three weeks, you have studiously kept any woman you have at bay. You hope not even your sister or female cousin will visit. She must know that you are single.

So how do you go about winning her? Taking her for a night out is too outdated and you too old for that kind of stuff. Besides, you have not established if she really drinks or night-outs are her kind of gigs. Taking her to a movie theatre might be adolescent, but what is showing again this week? You ask yourself. May be she doesn't even watch, next time you promise yourself that you will ask her. So you rule out a night of bingeing, the easiest way. You rule out a movie night. Can you take her out for dinner? You really don't believe in such a romantic overkill. Can you cook for her? Your cooking skills are super and that might shame her if she does not know how to cook and drive her out of your life, just like that.

Why is she so mysterious? On Tuesday, you text her at 7 am to wish her a good day. She doesn't reply up to around 11.57am. You hate her. You curse her. But when the message comes, she is apologetic, professional and assures you that she was not being a pain in your butt. You accept it, you have no choice.

On Thursday she wishes you a good night. You pretend not to have seen it until the following morning. The games people play. You know the rules. You want to ask her what she would like, between a dinner night out, some dancing in some good club recently opened in Hurlingham, or you just do a movie. Or should you cook for her some matoke stew, and have a home dinner, it is long since you treated yourself to an excellent dinner and some wine to enchant an evening...You know, she can come along.

She takes her time to respond. But when she does...


man cave;relationships;dating;bad boy