Dear team,
I hate ending relationships. Even though I look forward to the long vacation, saying goodbye to friends is miserable. And breaking up with romantic partners never seems to go well. How do I best handle break-ups?
Regards, Steve
Sister X: Whatever you do, do not fall to temptation of texting your ex
Dear Steve,
In this economy, the only constant things are strikes, corruption, taxes and breakups.
As such, brace yourselves for gazillion breakups. A wise person once said that the best way to get over someone is to get under or on top of another. Or you could tie them and Christian Grey them.
In other cases, if said person could cook chapatis that beat your mother's, you could mourn respectfully for 2 weeks before doing something or someone else.
Of course, witchcraft would be the first option to resort to. However, the silence of the black magic practitioners in this trying era where some people should not be alive says a lot about their credibility.
The church will always be open and there, you could read about Jezebel and Delilah who will make you turn to priesthood.That being said,remember that with priesthood comes blueballs.
You could also go to a funeral, cry your heart out and in the process of consoling each other, snatch one of the many mourners.
Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances or juju, succumb to the temptation of texting the ex.
Tony- The Counsellor
Dear Steve,
There is no easy break up. Even when you have all the justification on why you should leave someone, it is never easy. They might have cheated you, lied to you, gone out with your best friend or even physically abused you but the fact that you loved them makes it hard to let go.
It is, however, important to look at this critically. Look at the pros and cons. Why are you leaving her? If she has cheated on you for instance, and you have reached a point of no return, think of the freedom of not having to worry about who she is out with tonight or the hassle of going through his phone to check her WhatsApp chats.
Second, break-ups from a bad relationship help us relook at our lives and our boundaries. If for example she is abusive when she gets drunk, you will be wiser to consider the drinking habits of your next girlfriend. Third, perhaps what you need is not a break-up but a break. If you are in college, a three-month long vacation is perfect time to think through this and figure out whether what you have is what you want or what changes are needed to make it work. At the end of the day, there will never be an easier breakup but if you have weighed your options soberly, life will be better after the mourning period is over.
COMRADE Y: Nothing lasts forever, regardless of how good it was. Thats why we also die
Hi Steve,
Basic biology dictates that when we eat food, our bodies retain nutrients as it disposes off the waste. That’s why, depending on your body’s metabolism and the quality of grub you’d consumed, you take a trip to the can every 4-6 hours. This is your body’s way of saying goodbye.
Saying ciao, is incredibly important and healthy for relationships that were never meant to be. Nothing lasts forever, regardless of how good it was. That’s why we also die. We have to say goodbye to the world. Getting rid is stuff is paramount in the regeneration process. It is, however, important for you to retain the good and dispatch off the bad. Otherwise, how else would you grow?
To put it into perspective, imagine if you’d retained everything you’d consumed since birth: from your mother’s milk to the sugarcane you had last week. Building bigger doorways would be the least of our problems.