A while back Ted Malanda wrote a very interesting piece: “How come whenever a man dies, his widow grows fat, more beautiful and vibrant?” read the title. And in the piece he went on to name a long list of sins that men are commonly associated with and the reason many women experience relief and even happiness in widowhood.
It included everything from cheating, to men passing out trenches before staggering home to beat their wives, steal their money and terrorise their children.
It included men who have mastered the art of turning marriage into a prison where their wives can’t have friends, or be seen chatting with other men.
Sexy back
It got me thinking about whether there were truly any benefits left to getting married. A couple of weeks ago, I visited an aunt of mine who got divorced earlier this year from her husband of fifteen years. Believe me, the woman who opened the door for me was not the Aunt Lolly who I had watched stand loyally by her husband’s side, even when he cheated on her with everything in a skirt.
Lolly was more beautiful and looked ten years younger, she had make up on with everything from mascara to bold red lipstick (something she had never done while married), she had on a sexy form fitting dress that reached just above her knees and claimed she had gotten her sexy back by enrolling at a gym, was back in school doing her Masters and had even gotten a promotion at work.
Martyr look
I asked myself what happened to the miserable, old Aunt Lolly who tried to convince everyone else that she was happily married, and wore no make-up except Vaseline on her lips.
The Aunt Lolly whose life revolved around her husband’s needs and not her own; the woman once so afflicted with married-woman-brain to the point where she didn’t have an opinion that was not somehow attached to her husband’s school of thought. The aunt who asked how high if her husband asked her to jump.
Ask married women what married life is like and they never have a smile on their faces when they answer, in fact they often put on that martyr look and stare long into the distance as if searching for something lost, and then proceed to say that marriage is a “sacrifice” or exclaim “wee ni ngumu lazima ukazane tu!”
Looks younger
What does that even mean? Think I am being delusional? Well, hold your horses and ask yourself the following: who are the most successful, single or married women? Compare a 35-year-old married women and a single one, who looks younger or hotter? Who looks happier?
In the world we live in today, men have become more of a liability than an asset, especially as most do not have the slightest idea about what being a man is all about.
And judging from an emerging trend where more women are opting to ditch the white dress, opting instead to use men to have children while remaining single, very soon it will be men begging women to marry them not the other way round!
Personally, and I believe many other women share this sentiment, I shall remain in the bachelorette club for a while. And when I want kids, I will have them through a sperm donor. I don’t need a man stressing me.