Women must not use their success to attract attention from men (Photo: iStock)

We are a conflicted society. One that keeps shifting goalposts on important points depending on how the argument favours us. We talk from both sides of our mouths while keeping an eye on the benefits instead of the facts or objectivity.

In the recent past, our brothers have been a lot more consistent in their message to the younger men who are discovering themselves and the world of relationships. Amerix, Silas, and Aliet have consistently urged men to delay marriage as much as possible until such a time that they feel they have the stamina to protect their masculine frame.

They are continually training the men that they are the prize and must raise their value in the sexual marketplace. The men are beginning to understand that they are empty vessels who must work hard to gain contentment to be respected by women and society.

In order to stop the southward drift where men are ruled by the girls, the male chauvinists fighting to restore control are training their battalion to resist any form of weakness for the sake of pleasing us.

They feel that equality has eaten away at their control and are putting modalities in place to work their way back to the top without looking for shortcuts. I am yet to stumble on any of them championing for men to dress up well, smell nice and show their biceps and six-packs to attract women to finance their lives.

For them, it is bricks and mortar, no shortcuts or creativity aimed at outwitting women to siphon their hard-earned money. The champions of masculinity condemn in the strongest terms spineless men who lean on women for comfort. They have accepted that equality is the new normal and are simply fighting to repulse the surge of dominance from us.


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We, on the other hand, have set the sole objective of achieving soft life using any route. Any! Therefore, we train young women to be more conniving than hardworking if that is what will catapult them to the summit. We have the advantage of being perceived and appreciated as the weaker sex and that is a frame we readily fall back to if things get tough.

While we have made significant progress over the past years, we do not seem to fully believe in our potential. I have seen our chief, La Patrona correctly say that younger women should wait until they are older and have their own money because then, no man will treat them badly, exploit them, abuse them, or take them for granted.

From one side of the mouth, she gets it absolutely right. From the other side of the mouth, however, she quickly drifts from that main point to say that girls should make more money so that they can get more from men.

Apparently for us working hard is a pitching strategy. What I feel is missing in our branding is consistency; we are throwing a blank slate to the women and offering a thousand options adaptable. While being diversely creative is a positive thing that should be encouraged, we might as well consider removing men from our options for gain if we truly aim to be their equals.

That we still work on the back end to entrench patriarchy by only working hard to get more from them is a self-cannibalizing approach that is weakening our case even more and installing them in a pole position to continue controlling the proceedings.

As women, we cannot be working hard to buy a high-end SUV just so that a richer man can spot us and buy us a home in the leafy suburb. We should aim to meet a hardworking man focused on achieving his dreams and work together towards building an empire where we have an equal voice.

Strangely, every time we measure up to the men, we look for an opportunity to submit to them again to make us feel controlled. Maybe our feminine frame is always looking for a pillar to lean on and we are reluctant to be the stand-alone pillars we claim on paper and for the cameras. Our cleavages and gripping short skirts are still a tool aimed at conquering the male world with pure estrogen besides our rightful claim to equality. To earn their respect, we must not use our success to attract their success.