Hi Chris,
I’ve recently started wondering whether I’m pleasing my husband, but I’m too scared to ask him! Besides, I probably wouldn’t believe him if I did. What do I need to do to be great in intimacy?
Wanting to Please
Hi Wanting to Please!
All you need is the genuine desire to please your husband. You also need to be willing to put in the effort, because making love is an art that requires practice. So relax, practise hard and enjoy every minute!
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Never try to second-guess your husband’s needs. Couples who talk about sex have a much better time than those who don’t. Encourage him to give you feedback and suggestions. Give him feedback, too; he needs to know that he’s pleasing you!
Pay attention to see if you need to speed up, slow down or change position. Be vocal yourself, too. Even the slightest sound of pleasure is highly arousing.
Be adventurous: read manuals and talk about them! If being upfront about it feels scary, start by talking positively about it afterwards. ‘That was lovely!’ You’ll soon find yourself talking about it anytime you like.
Send each other messages even if you’re in the same room with the kids! Have a private code to show interest when you can’t talk. Plus, have a signal that says ‘right now!’ You could use a special scent that you never use at any other time. A scent signal like that will soon become highly arousing.
Kiss each other often and agree on a shared bedtime. Preparing for bed together is an intimate ritual that strengthens your bond. Have pillow talk: catch up, reminisce, make plans and appreciate each other and let your hands wander.
Overcome your inhibitions so that you’re completely comfortable being undressed around each other. Sex can be a bit gross at times, so try not to be put off by anything and instead see the funny side. If you can laugh together while making love, you’re doing great!
All the best,
Chris