Orgasms are widely regarded as the pinnacle of sexual pleasure. This belief stems from the idea that sex can only be truly enjoyed if it ends in climax. However, this isn’t always the case. Many fulfilling sexual experiences are overlooked simply because they don’t end in orgasm.
Psychologist Monica Oyoo explains that non-orgasmic sexual experiences can be satisfying if partners agree on what pleases them beyond physical intimacy. This allows lovers to become more attuned to each other’s bodies without focusing on performance.
“It’s about trying new things. It also helps partners appreciate each other and focus on enjoyment rather than evaluation. It requires open-mindedness and mindfulness,” says Monica.
Here are some of the ways couples can experience non-orgasmic sexual pleasure, according to Monica:
Touch:Sensual touch nourishes both physical and emotional bonds. It boosts mood, increases arousal and makes the experience feel more intimate, even without orgasm.
Massage:Using scented massage oils before or during sex can enhance relaxation and stimulate the senses. Couples can massage each other before or during intimacy and the scent itself can heighten the experience, making the two partners feel more relaxed.
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It doesn’t have to wait until after sex. Whispering secrets, fears, desires or dreams into each other’s ears can heighten intimacy in the moment. According to Monica, expressing vulnerabilities and emotions during sex creates a deeper connection.
Body contact:Skin-to-skin contact builds desire and affection. Holding hands, cuddling, hugging, lying chest-to-chest or stroking each other’s backs can intensify the emotional experience.
Eye contact:Gazing into each other’s eyes during foreplay or intercourse makes the experience more intense and present, as well as enhancing sensitivity and trust. Eye contact may feel awkward at first, but over time, it can help you to focus on your partner.
Breathing:Synchronised, mindful breathing enables partners to slow down and experience pleasure more fully. “Being sexually satisfied is about enjoying the experience. Lovers should be open-minded to enjoy the moment,” Monica concludes.