Hi Chris,
My marriage is so-so, though I do not want to leave. But there is so little intimacy, and I am fantasising about this man at work.
Would it be so awful if I had a no-commitment relationship with him? It would make my home life more bearable!
No Strings Attached
Chris says,
Hi No Strings Attached!
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You are not alone. Lots of wives admit they are unhappy, and many do have some sort of affair. And mostly their husbands never find out.
No-strings-attached affairs are especially common among young professionals. They’re just about the sex and are not intended to break up an existing relationship. So they feel harmless, which is perhaps the only good thing you can say about them. If there’s a scale of adultery, they must come nearer the bottom than the top.
And women are just as likely as men to think this way. They wonder how it would feel to be with someone really exciting. They want sex but without any complications. So they go looking for men who want the same. Especially married men, who’ve got something to lose and won’t suddenly become clingy and possessive.
Surveys suggest that as many as 60 per cent of young urban professional women have had an affair, and that’s quite possible. Because young women nowadays are usually sexually experienced before marriage and are financially independent. And are tending to develop male attitudes towards sex and marriage.
So is a no-strings-attached relationship such a bad idea? After all, the people who are most likely to have them are among the most successful people in society.
And although people still believe infidelity’s wrong in principle, even those who’ve been unfaithful, we may be entering a new era of less faithful marriages. Driven by women’s financial independence.
But in reality, there are always strings attached to sex. Lovers who suddenly want to make things permanent. Break-ups get nasty. And even years later, the results can be traumatic if your husband finds out.
So think very carefully. And maybe work on your marriage first?
All the best,
Chris