Your best friend picked his wife from a night-club. It was supposed to be a one-night-stand. Four years and two sons later, they are extremely happy. Your other friend got a woman from a stupid man who got too drunk and violent in a party, then collapsed on the sofa and started sleeping. Two years later, they are married, and a child is on the way.
You are thinking all about that as you drink your beer, with your buddy, Charlie, who is having wine. You despise men who drink wine. You last saw Charlie 10 years ago, before he landed this NGO job, that took him all over the world, and through the ranks. Now he is a regional head.
Charlie, 33, has a good job, but is faced with a predicament in the form of a long list of potential wives. You were there once: an unreasonable baby mother, a young college girl, a 30-year-old corporate lady with serious monies and an attitude to match.
Recently, his favourite aunt, hooked him up with this homely girl, a high school teacher and he is spoilt for choice. He tells you there are so many girls in his office who are in his cross hairs.
His lust is sending him to the college girl. The pragmatist, if capitalist in him is telling him to go for the corporate woman, who is quite a looker. The rational man in him is convincing him to listen to his aunt. And common sense should tell him to keep looking. At 33, he need not panic. There is always something good out there.
"Look, it doesn't matter who you end up with. There is no guarantee that the homely high-school teacher will be less of a headache, than say the corporate woman...they are the same..." you tell him. You are wise, after one year in marriage.
"So, where did you pick Carol?" he asks as he places an order for another glass of wine.
"You gotta start taking something more manly!" you want to tell him. But you don't know what might have changed over the 10 years you have never met.
"She moved in the apartment block where I lived in South B. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, though a snob. I made the move, and dated for like a year, had a wedding last year and here we are...Been like two years.
"Aaah. So kids, so far?"
"Mmh, we are working on that. But she has a girl from a previous relationship..."
He gives you an incredulous look, that says, "you of all people married a single mother" and actually goes ahead and asks you that,
"So you married a single mother?"
"Man, I did, not that I regret..." you tell him.
"But you plan to add yours like two or three..."
There is some thinly veiled sarcasm but you know that most men view men who marry single mothers as either bold or desperate, especially if you are a young man with access to women with less baggage, much less a child.
"Actually, you should consider marrying a single mother. They are good, less trouble compared to these women..."
He cuts you short.
"No way." Orders more wine.
@nyanchwani