Yet later tonight, or technically tomorrow at 1am, you will be at it again, watching England versus Italy.
Then at 4am is the must watch Japan versus Cote de Voire (Ivory Coast). You will spend the whole Sunday in bed, then go to the bar until midnight to watch the World Cup games, get home at 1am in time for Argentina versus Bosnia, and go to bed at 3am on Monday morning.
Black Monday will never feel bleaker, or blacker, as you spend your day in the office running to the lavatory to throw up bile. And you will realise there are still four more weeks of the World Cup left to go. You can’t do this.
But you must watch the World Cup, I hear you moan, my man. Yes you can! But you must learn a few tricks of watching the World Cup when it is being broadcast in some country with an unholy time zone. A country like Brazil, with lots of awkward time zones, which is why you are watching the World Cup until four am in some cases.
Begin by choosing your battles, or in this case, your matches. Take today for example.
The evening game, Colombia versus Greece, is not that important. Nor is the night game, Costa Rica versus Uruguay.
And, my guy, you want to be fresh for the important post-midnight show down of England versus Italy ( here I yell, ‘go Italia’ as some fellers in the cyber cafe I’m in all agree Brazil will be in the finals, but one says versus Spain, and the other gentleman Solomon Gorem says it will be Brazil versus Argentina. Me I’ll go with Germany, but only because I’ll be there most of the World Cup, and it is more fun being with the home crowd of men, I have learnt).
With that in mind, it is important to go to bed early on these unimportant nights so that you get up fresh for the 1 am game.
I mean, get to the house by 6pm, get to learn which class your son is in (then help with the homework for half hour), then sleep.
Eating at one am, of course, will give you a whole new appreciation of the simple word ‘brunch.’
This is also your chance to spend week-nights at the bar in the company of your ‘footer’ boys (whom you otherwise only see Saturdays) on days the games are at 7pm, and for Bachelors and the Brave, 10pm.
And drink beer without fear (except for alco-blow, but I bet the booze police too will be in their canteens and quarters, watching the football).
If you are man enough, you can invite your crowd of soccer lads over to your house weekends when matches are at one am, and order your lady to make them the ‘Breakfast of Champions’ ( eggs and beer) at 4 am. Maybe she’ll finally get to see that they are not that bad, after all. (Lol, good luck with this one).
When the month turns dark (the 20s) and the pocket is too empty to go to the local for football and you have to watch the 7 and 10pm games in the house, be ruthless with the remote. Make sure the woman knows who’s boss ( if only one out of every 48 months) and like a drug addict gone cold turkey, maybe after a month, the lady will be less dependant on those silly soap operas.
She wants to watch some South American soap, how about the Mexico versus Brazil soccer match coming up soon in Group A? Photo: www.rainforestcruises.com