I'm not married. But would love to have someone to call mine, someday. So I'd be having conversations out there telling y'all about my person. Wueh! Marriage is sweet, no?
Marriage works, much as it's not the ultimate goal. I mean, who wouldn't want to wake up next to the love of their lives, in their birthday suits or in those funny, faded baggy tees?
Whom, among you, wouldn't wish to get back home to a romantic partner, kisses all over, delicious food, and gossipy nights then dose away in their better halves' arms? We all would love to be loved, cuddled and told those sweet nothings to keep our days going and brag to the world about it. Love is an absolutely beautiful thing.
But just like all other friendships and non-romantic relationships, we can agree that marriages get boring too. I've said that love is a beautiful thing. But feelings fade.
It's not possible to love another human seven days a week, 365 days a year. It's not! We have those days that things refuse kabisa.
Moments you'd look at the love of your life and wonder where you picked that idiot from!
- Will my children hate me for getting a divorce?
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This is something the Mary Magdalenes and Holy Joes wouldn't want to talk about but hey, we're humans bana, and the heart doesn't have a love refill station.
Those days it decides it wants to just pump blood and not engage in those love shenanigans, there's absolutely nothing one can do about it!
There are those nights no one wants to be touched. Those cuddles might even look like sexual harassment because the body has also refused. Women have mood swings for whatever reason. Maybe she just woke up that day and remembered how her hubby cheated on her with Philegona on Saturday, June 1856! And she would sulk the whole effing day.
Maybe, her office boyfriend's wife passed by the office to check on her husband for an update on the property they're buying somewhere in Ntulele. It worked up her emotions and now she's brought the whole confusion at home, in bed and she sees you as the enemy.
Sometimes you argue and even fight. About everything, anything or nothing at all. And the whole marriage idea gets boring to the core.
You look at each other like strangers in the proverbial night. You pass each other in the house like students in campus corridors.
Even students try and smile at each other! You start talking to each other through the kids. "Ask mum if she's seen my charger".
You even communicate via texts, while on the same couch. Like, you wish you'd just leave that house and come back after three days, like Jonah the guy of the fish.
Humans are humans. Then there's curiosity and the cat. Your human will go out there and find someone more attractive than you. They'll flirt, or cheat - then you'll find out. It will hurt you and you'd even want to cut them into small pieces and flush them down the toilet.
You'd get nauseated by the sight of their ugly face or the smell of their sweat.
Their snoring will suddenly become louder every night that you would even wonder how on earth you ended up with such a human with a big forehead. You will put on the lights randomly in the middle of the night, look at their flappy ears, click and go back to sleep.
You can never be always in love with your partner all the days of your life. Big lie. You two are humans, not fresh water.
As a woman, you will become pregnant and there's a close relationship between pregnancies and a big nose. Your cheeks will be chubby and honestly, you won't look good even in the eyes of the beholder.
But for the sake of peace, love, and unity in the marriage, your person will lie to you that you're still beautiful because si we're all fearfully and wonderfully made in the image and likeness of God?
But the truth of God, you will be looking like a python that has just swallowed a whole goat, with a nose that would smell the coffee in all the Java houses. Marriage bana!
We're humans and we evolve. The world is dynamic, and so is the marriage setting.
Internet is awash with what so-and-so is doing, and how this and that is breaking or making marriages.
Also, humans grow and outgrow each other. You're not a stone. You're not a loaf of bread, and neither are you a house plant.
Brethren would agree to none of this but we know they ogle and salivate at other people's persons in the absence of their persons.
It's normal to find your other significant not just boring but very boring because humans can be very boring, with or without reason.
Do you think waking up to loving the same unwashed face daily, for 17 years, is a joke?
It's hard to fall and stay in love, happily ever after. Because for love to prevail the two of you must keep reassuring each other about love.