Forget the millennium kids, if you never applied Kimbo on your body because there was no Jelly yet you had to run to school or stole your mother's firewood because the teacher demanded everyone comes with the same failure to which would earn you six of the best then you never lived. Growing up in the shags had some pretty exciting and frightening experiences; If you did or experienced any of the below then your childhood was fun. However, it also shows you must quit taking selfies, using words like 'lol' and ought to be married by now. You are no child any more.
Coat of many colours One was supposed to use a single pair of uniform for two years before you could get another. They were often bought a little baggy to ensure you grow in them and use them for at least two years before you are taken to the tailor for a new pair and that was also subject to your performance in school. To keep the uniform going for the two years, all tear and wears would be handled by patching with whatever fabric was available regardless of the texture or colour as long as the holes were mended. It thus became hard to tell exactly the colour of the original material. Just like the lyrics behind Dolly Parton's coat of many colours, every patch on the school shorts and dresses was sown with love.
"Touch your ear" Because there was exactly no set age when one could join school and because teachers did not want toddlers who could still poop on themselves, the Standard measure of whether one was old enough to join class one was through being made to pass your hand over your head and touch your ear. The only catch is that some ended up starting school when they were ten years or more because this method was as ineffective as they get. If your hand could not touch your ears, you would go back home and try "next year."
What's that thing you have been procrastinating over?Milking Jelly Vaseline and other Petroleum jellies were luxurious type used in the cities or by well off families. The rest of the village folk used the Treetop milking jelly or as chaps got older probably in high school began using the likes of Cobra jelly that came in an oval metal can and whose scent attracted all types of rodents and could repel the devil himself.
Used slippers as rubber Who needed a rubber when you could use slippers to rub anything written in pencil? If you needed to rub something written in Bic, all you had to do is moisten the slipper with your saliva.
Stood on a rock after shower to dry Towel, for what? The 80s and 90s kids only used towel when they joined high school and only because it was a requirement. The only way to dry after a shower was to stand or sit on a rock and let the sun kiss your behind in its natural splendor. Benefits also included free and ample doses of vitamin D. Home physics/ Value for money Batteries were not allowed to just exhaust its charge without the folks trying to resuscitate it by letting it dry on the sun. Ensuring not an ounce of power was underutilized included squeezing them or hitting them before using them in radios or spot lights.
Mummy, it wasn't me If you never licked your Mum's sugar and wiped your hands but forgot your mouth only to insist it wasn't you, then your childhood is memories starved.
Errand for teachers Kids used to go to school with firewood that teacher's wives would use to cook, they would also go weed and harvest for teachers during games time. There were girls who were not very keen on class work who would volunteer to clean office and cook breakfast and lunch for teacher while others learned.
Chapo for special occasions Chapos that are now more easily available than Ugali was a meal reserved for special occasions like Christmas or when distinguished guests visited. Only a family or t owed pans so they would be booked in advance and other kids would literally worship you if your mother was making chapos that day.
Village photo man They came on bicycles took our photos and were given deposit. The photos would come after two months and only when you are lucky. If not, a photo man would tell you it got 'burned' and one would take another and wait and pray this time round it does not "burned"