Dear Coleen
I have fallen in love with my brother-in-law. I’m 32, my husband is 39 and his brother is 38. I don’t see my brother-in-law a lot – he works abroad and only visits us twice a year, but I feel he comes to see me.
When we’re away with the family or out at an event, he’s very attentive and caring towards me, always asking if I’m hungry or comfortable and so on.
He even gave us some money to build our house without any guarantee that we’d be able to pay him back – again, I feel he did it because of me.
I love my hubby very much and there is nothing wrong with him, but I dream of my brother-in-law and have sexual fantasies about him.
What should I do? I feel he loves me, too.
Coleen says
When it comes to your brother-in-law, I don’t think you should do anything.
You’ve based this whole fantasy on how you ‘feel’, but have absolutely no real evidence that he loves you or even fancies you. He might have given you money because he loves his brother!
I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that acting on these feelings is playing with fire. Say you did start something with your brother-in-law and you both wanted to run off into the sunset together.
It’s highly unlikely you’d ever be able to have a relationship with your husband or his family. The fallout would be devastating. Could you be happy together after that?
If you genuinely love your husband and are just a bit bored sexually, then make an effort to kick some excitement into your marriage.