Are you feeling achy all over, having a stiff neck and a feeling of general malaise? Were you in a bar brawl recently? Got wounded? OK, when did you last get a tetanus shot? Look, you could be closer to death — over tetanus — than you think.
‘Partying on the water’ parties have taken Kampala by storm. But unlike Vegas what happens on the water has been finding its way in the gossip sections of the media.
Percy Nanyondo, a Ugandan socialite renowned for her racy photos and bar brawls, is always all over the tabloids in compromising dance poses with members of the opposite gender.
She has a volatile temper and many a scribe has borne the brunt of her temper. This diminutive damsel faced down photo journalist Royce Mubiru Kakeebe a month ago with a broken beer bottle, and demanded he delete her photos from his camera. All this took place on a boat from which a party had been thrown.
A swim in Lake Victoria would warrant a number of vaccinations, especially if you consider the amount of effluent that gushes into these waters in the name of waste disposal.
The ‘party cruisers’ are simply well decorated rust buckets. These are not the best conditions for a brawl as the combatants will require full disinfection and all manner of injections to kill the germs that shall set up camp in any open wounds.
Kakeebe got into an altercation with Nanyondo and ended up with a cut on his hand, as he tried to use it to cover his face from a lifelong scar.
Matters got out of hand and the party had to end. The matter was reported to police. Kakeebe, being a gentleman and probably considering the millions of shillings he would make from selling the photos, ‘forgave’ Nanyondo and sought medical attention.
I believe free things come with a price and no good deed goes unpunished. Unfortunately, Kakeebe did not get the requisite tetanus jab and one month later he was hospitalised with the said ailment. Four days later, he was dead.
Police have resurrected the case and Nanyondo is currently on the run from a murder charge. She allegedly claimed to be the daughter of one of the flying squads former bosses, and therefore can’t be ‘touched’.
But preliminary investigations have revealed that she is not related to any flying squad boss and she is just a fast talker. In fact, should you spot an inebriated slip of a girl with brightly coloured hair and questionable behaviour, do not approach. Call the nearest Interpol office and advise them to come with a sedative.
The ‘Comedy on the Water’ themed parties have since been suspended, as the man behind them has been arrested and is assisting police with investigations.
In fact, he should do the math and either offer free tickets to party goers as a reward for anyone who helps him nab the suspect or ‘sell’ his company to a friend or relative to do business as he helps cops with investigations.
The first option will ensure he finds her within a week, especially as she is a creature of habit and technology shall ensure he gets photographic evidence instantly via Whatsapp.
The second option ensures business shall continue, especially as we approach the holiday season.