Growing up, I had heard of women suffering from domestic abuse. I was aware that women had to endure physical and sexual violence. Hell, I knew of women who had been beaten by their husbands and had read many reports of rape. I always wondered why women who had been in abusive relationships stayed in those relationships. Why didn't they fight back or press charges against those who assaulted them? Maybe it was the naivete of youth. It wasn’t until I saw it firsthand that I finally understood how difficult it is to leave an abusive relationship, let alone talk about it.
The Covid-19 pandemic has seen an increase in cases of gender-based violence (GBV) particularly among women and girls. The United Nations refers to this as the Shadow Pandemic. The stress brought on by the economic effects of the pandemic not to mention restricted movement has seen many women and girls suffer violent attacks, both physical and sexual, from the men in their lives: fathers, husbands, uncles, brothers, etc.
And while the pandemic has brought to light GBV in ways that we might not have acknowledged before, it also emphasizes the need for structures to be put in place to address this issue.
November 25 is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. The United Nations holds 16 days of activism against gender-based violence, a ‘call for the prevention and elimination of violence against women and girls’.
In an interview with a local newspaper, British High Commissioner Jane Marriott echoed this call as she revealed her own assault experience. She had been posted to a different province in post-Saddam Hussein Iraq and one night a European Lieutenant Colonel walked into her accomodation. It was late at night. He was a big, burly man. He had her underwear with him, which he claimed to have hand washed.
Although the details are sketchy, Marriott recalls the moment he held her against the wall, one arm on her chest and the other trying to undress her.
Many women who try to talk about assault they underwent often struggle with the details. Sometimes this can influence if the authorities and even loved ones believe them. It can also make it difficult for their attackers to be apprehended.
On the other hand, there are incidences when the attacker isn’t a complete stranger like in Marriott's case. It’s a family member, romantic partner or even a neighbour, someone the abused has to see every day. This makes it even harder for the abused to move forward and have even the semblance of a normal life.
The conviction rate of rapists and other violent abusers is also wanting. An article in The Standard published on November 25, reported that a number of suspects charged with sexual offences were set free due to bungled investigations. It is incidences like these that make it harder for victims of assault to report these cases.
There’s also the issue of being ashamed of what others will say or if they will blame you for what happened. A boyfriend hit me. In the heat of the moment, I came up with excuses for his behaviour even though, at the back of my mind, I knew that it was inexcusable. I chalked it up to a fit of anger or something I had done. It took years for me to speak about it let alone forgive him (I learned that forgiveness is important for healing). While I can say that I have moved past this incident, I can’t help but acknowledge the impact it has had on my life.
Before Covid-19, rescue centres provided a safe haven for victims of abuse. But with the pandemic and closure of non-essential services, many victims are left with no choice but to be in the vicinity of their abusers.
The Kenyan government has put in place measures to help combat this issue. A GBV 24-hour hotline was put in place by the Ministry of Public Service and Gender for victims and their relatives can report cases of GBV.
However, a change of mindset on the part of society can go a long way in empowering victims of GBV to speak up without fear of judgment.
According to Marriott, to conquer this demon that is violence against women, there’s a need for funding to be made available. When women are financially independent, as Marriot also pointed out, they are better placed to leave abusive relationships as well as pursue legal action against their abusers.
“You need police, judicial and economic systems that enable victims to recover,” Marriot added.