Hi Chris,
My boyfriends are always a lot of fun, but we never seem to get really close. Somehow they just don't become emotionally attached to me, and sooner or later they all stray.
So what do I have to do to find a guy who will stick around?
Strayers
Chris says,
Hi Strayers!
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There are lots of reasons why some guys bond with their girlfriends and become faithful, while others don't.
Like you might be choosing dates that's inherently less trustworthy. Big masculine hunks for example. So choose someone with a little less testosterone next time. Boys brought up without a father also tend to be less faithful than boys brought up by both parents.
After that, our chemistry has a lot to do with it. Doing something exciting with your boyfriend releases hormones that trigger feelings of romance, which is why we often get passionate on holiday. And whenever you're intimate or affectionate with someone, bonding hormones are released which link you tighter together.
Like you release oxytocin whenever you're physically intimate, increasing your emotional attachment to your boyfriend. While they produce oxytocin's close relative vasopressin during intimacy. It's often called the 'male monogamy molecule,' because it encourages them to grow closer and more faithful.
So figure out what will increase the release of vasopressin in your next boyfriend! Because the more he has, the more emotionally attached he'll become to you.
Fortunately, the triggers are very simple, so try them all! Such as words of affirmation 'You look great tonight!' Or giving him your undivided attention while doing something together. Anything from a romantic dinner to wandering around the mall.
Simple inexpensive gifts work for many couples, such as clothes or food. So do 'acts of service' like making a cup of tea.
But the most powerful trigger is physical touch. Holding hands, sitting close, cuddling while you sleep at night. So find which work best for your boyfriend, and then do them lots! Because giving him repeated doses of vasopressin will really bond him to you, and make him far less likely to stray.
All the best,
Chris