Years back, Genge musician Nonini termed Kenya as a ‘drinking nation’.
Some Kenyans love their drink so much that they would go blind or even die for it.
Tale tales go around of a few folks who were gulping down illicit liquor. Suddenly, things turned dark. “Ata uzime taa bado tutakunywa”, the revelers yelled thinking that the lights had been switched off.
Poor souls didn’t know that they had just lost their eyesight.
“Pombe sio shida, shida ni walevi”, a wise man once whispered told me. In the spirit of encouraging responsible alcohol indulgence, here are the four cardinal drinking rules according to an even wiser lady:
Eat before you drink
This should be common sense, too bad sense is not too common.
Ensure that you have had an adequate meal before hitting the bottle. Effects of drinking on an empty stomach may include vomiting, blackouts (not Kenya Power’s) and development of stomach ulcers.
Do not mix drinks
Drinking liquor is bad enough. Drinking different beer brands in one sitting is disastrous.
Pick a struggle. If you are going to do beer, stick with it. Mixing alcohol is the same as wearing different colored shoes- utachekesha.
Hydrate frequently
Hangover, the double-headed dragon that rears its ugly heads the morning after a night out.
You can avoid all the torment and torture by drinking water. How much water? One would ask. Lucky for you, the aforementioned wise lady suggested a schedule; after two double shots, take a glass of water. If it is beer, take water after two bottles.
Pee
What goes in must come out. Your body is not meant to have alcohol. So if you are going to ingest it, ensure it’s excreted.
If you adhere by step 3 above, then this should be a walk in the park- Mother Nature will come calling.
Too many rules? You can write them down and carry the note the next time you plan on painting the city red(don’t forget the red paint of course).