Your new catch has totally swept you off your feet. You go on a date. Sparks fly. You share chemistry you can cut with a knife. Sex appeal aside, you have a lot in common as well.
He is intelligent, funny, down-to-earth and absolutely loving, all wrapped up in one sexy package.
What was the most embarrassing moment of your life?You are absolutely besotted with him and you are more than ready to take your relationship to the next level. However, you have some reservations. You only just met him. Is it too soon to give it up? Will he still respect you if you decide to take the plunge and yield to your burning desires?
When is the right time to consummate a union? I have heard of the third date and 90-day rule among other absurd mindsets. The really resilient ones hold out until they recite their nuptials.
Personally, I find it rather comical that someone can put a time frame to getting intimate. It becomes even more ridiculous when you earnestly believe that intimacy could change the outcome of the relationship.
Whoever suggested that giving it up too soon could sabotage a relationship should be burnt on a stake. Nothing could be further from the truth. If the guy in question is a douche who wants to add you to his long list of sexual conquests, having sex with him after 90 days will not change that.
In the same context, if he is genuinely interested in pursuing a long-term relationship with you, having sex with him after the first date won’t change that either.
A lot of things come into play when building a foundation for a relationship. Sex is just a small part of it. A relationship based on love and respect cannot go down the drain because you gave it up too soon.
You cannot put a timeline to intimacy. It all boils down to how soon you establish an emotional and intellectual connection, and it varies from couple to couple.
For some, it can take minutes. Others take months to establish that connection. As women, we are far too concerned about appearing ‘easy’ or ‘loose’ to realise this.
It is constantly drummed into us that we should hold out for as long as possible to distinguish between sex-crazed weirdos and good guys. It is all in futility because it can all be determined from the get-go.
I am not saying that you should hook up with every guy who professes his undying love for you.
Trust your instincts. If you feel you are ready and the only thing holding you back is fear of backlash from society, you are doing yourself a huge injustice. Anybody who, in this time and age, still feels that women should be ashamed of yielding to sexual desires too soon, is a dimwit who shouldn’t be allowed to have an opinion in the first place.
Sex doesn’t increase or decrease your value as a woman.
@RoxanneKenya
www.facebook.com/RoxanneKe