Dear Coleen
My mum died on April 5 and I have regrets because I didn’t see her for a week before she passed away. I keep wishing I’d seen her on the Saturday before she died. I haven’t cried yet. I even didn’t cry at her funeral.
I don’t know how to sleep or move on. I live with my dad, but I just don’t know how to talk to him or anyone else about it as I’ve never been an outgoing lad.
Coleen says
I’m very sorry to hear about your mum. Please don’t feel guilty about not seeing her.
It sounds as if her death was unexpected, so those circumstances are completely out of your control.
I’ve lost both my parents and my sister, and I don’t think any of my siblings grieved in the same way.
There is no right or wrong way. If you haven’t cried, that’s OK, but don’t bottle up your feelings.
When you’ve been bereaved, people usually take their lead from you, so if you let your relatives and friends know that you want to talk, they’ll be there for you.
Just telling someone you feel bad for not seeing your mum before she died will help start the grieving process. Writing down how you feel can also be therapeutic.
I think you’ll cry when it feels right to cry. It might be something unrelated to your mum’s death that triggers it.
Good luck and let me know how you get on.