Miki's Dilemma
Dear Simon, I am in love with my best friend’s girlfriend. I used to love her even before they got together but he moved faster than me and got her.
He did not know that I had feelings for her but now I am?sure she is the girl for me. Honestly, I don’t want to hurt him because we have been buddies since childhood.
She once told me that we couldn’t date because we were too good as friends but the more she resists me, the more I want her.
She already knows that I want her. I don’t want to lose her and I think I should follow my heart. It seems she also feels something for me. What should I do?
{Miki}
Simon's say
Miki, in this life you have to choose the battles you want to fight. This is one of those you don’t want to get into. Why would you want to play your boy like that man?
Some things are just personal and it would hurt your friend so much if he knew you were having such funny ideas on his girl. I don’t know how tight you are with your boy but if you have been friends for long and you refer to him as your best friend, then I guess I know what you are talking about.
I can tell you one thing, no girl is worth the friendship you have with a guy you call your best friend.
You say you have loved her for a long time. I tell you, you are just attracted to her maybe because she is pretty or because she seems out of reach. However, no matter how much you think you love her, nothing good can come from going down that road you call ‘following your heart’; all possible outcomes are loose-loose situations.
Suppose you link up with her? That will automatically create a rift between you and your friend. And then imagine what will happen if, for some reason, you break up with her? You will not have the option of going back and rekindling the friendship you had with him. You will, therefore, lose both friends but if you chose to get a girl of your own, you would keep both friends, maybe forever.
Drop those funny ideas you are having and get another girl. Suppose he was the one with feelings for your girl? I guess you wouldn’t want to imagine what would happen if that was the case, right? Suppose your girlfriend left you for your best friend? I guess sometimes things look different when the question is twisted the other way, ha?
Your say
I think yours is a perfect example of a lost opportunity. You loved her so much, but you missed the chance to ask her to be your girlfriend. It is better for you to just remain friends.
Give it time and you will surely meet a girl who deserves your love and time. But if you were meant to be together, it will surely come to pass without you hurting anyone. All the best man.
{Weldon Siele, Nairobi}
Have you ever heard the saying ‘The grass always looks greener on the other side? You are blinded. Move on with your life and find another girl.
{Jane Okumu, Maseno University}
You made a mistake the time you let your best friend date that girl and that mistake will haunt you as long as you see her. Accept the fact that you lost her and move on. If you insist, you will lose both of them.
{Zachary Githaiga, Maseno University}
You did not love her enough to ask her out, so stop envying your friend. Open your eyes because there is obviously someone else out there for you.
{Seth Kiama, Nairobi}
Miki, you are truly in a dilemma but the logical way out is to move on without her. Let the past remain there. Let your friend continue courting her and don’t let him know that you admired her. There is a reason she slipped off you. You will get Miss Right in due time. Your story resonates with mine.
{James Mwangi, Nairobi}
