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I need your advice on something I am going through. I am 24, my cousin is 30 and we are in love with each other. The problem is that we know this may not end very well especially if our families get to know what is going on. He is very romantic, handsome and he spoils me a lot whenever we are together. Whenever we decide to end things, we always find a way back together and it has really proven difficult to end the relationship. We cannot seem to let go of each other. {Elizabeth}

Your take:

Elizabeth, love is a mutual consent between two adults. Yours is not love but incest. I advise you to quit before your relatives too get wind of what you are doing. Is it possible for you to get love elsewhere away from your relatives. It is much easier to quit now but it will get harder as time goes by.

{Ouma Wuod Ragumo}

If he is truly in love with you, why doesn't he take the next available chance and declare this to the whole family. He is only using you because he is getting what he wants and it is just a matter of time before he dumps you for another lady.

{Lucy Kaaria}

To avoid controversies and hatred from your family members, you must quit this game. It is not right for cousins to fall in love with each other and that is indeed incest. Suppose you get bis baby, how will you explain to your family? It is a shameful relationship and you should not entertain it.

{Eunice Wanja}

You cannot date your cousin and expect that everyone will be happy with it. There are many men out there with whom you can morally engage, if you must. Your other problem is that you don't seem to have dated many men in your life. Maybe it is time you tried, so walk out of this relationship and never look back.

{Tasma Saka}

Incest is a crime, especially within the Christian set-up. Nothing much will come from this and I am sure your conscience is not clear, and that is why you are asking for advice. Why don't you try and find your own man?

{Andrew Didy Chaplin}

Counselor’s Take:

Elizabeth, this is a complex situation you are putting yourself in and I think the end loser will be none other but you. You tell us with much enthusiasm that you are both in love with each other but there is more that is going on in that situation than you may be aware of. At 24 you may be yet to know how men function but this is part of the learning process.

Men, be they cousins, neighbours, friends will every once in a while be attracted to ladies that are around them. Unfortunately, this includes even cousins and in most cases, younger and more often than not naive girls who are yet to know about the ways of the world. When this happens, they use all manner of words and deeds to attract the ladies to themselves including among many other things spoiling them sick and declaring their undying love for them. This is what has gotten you to this point.

In that relationship, you are the only one who is in love with someone here. The other party is only using those words and spoiling you sick to get what every man wants from a lady they are attracted to. Many ladies are often convinced by an uncle, cousin or other family member to get into an intimate relationship. The trouble starts when things go sour for instance, if you conceive. If you got pregnant for him today, he will give you all reasons why you ought to get rid of that child for the sake if his integrity in the family.

Further, he will also tie your integrity to it and convince you that for the good sake of family unity it is better to get rid of it. In the end, it is the ladies that are left at the crossroads and many choose to live in silence and fear rather than expose the men responsible for such acts.

My advice is that you quit while you are still ahead in this and while you can still make a good life for yourself. Remember should the unexpected happen, he can still lead a normal life but your life will always be tainted and all responsibilities will fall upon you. This is not good especially for you so I encourage you to leave and find your way around this life. {Taurus}