Dear Coleen
My girlfriend loves me (or so she says by text), but I’m not convinced she cares about me.
I’m 30 and she’s 20, and she gets annoyed when I try to hug her.
I’ve asked her why she’s behaving like she’s not bothered, and she just says: “Give me time.”
She cares about her friends more than me. My question is, should I be patient or give up? And do you have any tips to make her love me more?
Coleen says
I’m afraid you can’t make someone love you more – it has to come from them.
You’re at very different stages of life – you’re ready to do the settling down thing and she’s not.
It sounds to me as if she looks at you more as a casual boyfriend. Maybe in time that will change, but she’s still only 20, so you could be waiting a long time.
It’s possible she feels a bit suffocated, and the age gap is scaring her a bit because she knows you’re more serious than she is.
Maybe if you take a step back she might make more of an effort, but you can’t force it.
You might have to accept that the age gap is too wide.